New Boy Blues: Expanded Version
by angelbethy
Summary: Expanded from the one-shot. Jasper, terrified of being rejected, hides his true self from his friends and family. When Edward moves to Forks, though, Jasper's secret threatens to break through the wall he'd so carefully built. Rated M for slash, etc.
1. First Sight

**A/N:** Many thanks to everyone who asked me to continue the one-shot I wrote for the Indies First Time Writers Challenge… which was just about everyone who reviewed, so I feel pretty good. :-) This chapter is short, but reveals some new and (hopefully) interesting developments on the o/s. Additional A/N at the bottom.

**WARNING:** This piece of fiction is rated MA (Mature Adults) for slash (a male/male relationship, for those not in-the-know), graphic language, and adult situations. There'll even be boy-nudity at some point. So please click away if you're not old enough for this, or if you ARE old enough but are a wuss about any of that stuff. Also, S. Meyer owns all _Twilight_-related material. Thanks for letting us play in your sandbox, Mrs. Meyer.

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Chapter One – First Sight

"Loser!" Emmett McCarty bellowed out to me in friendly greeting, clearly audible over the dull roar created by the student body of Forks High School. I spotted him near the middle of the school auditorium and started toward him. The first morning assembly of the year looked like any other assembly, with kids socializing over the seats, roaming the aisles, tossing paper and pens at one another. I wove my way through the crowd and approached the spot where Emmett and the other guys were sitting. Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley were arm wrestling over the back of a chair, while Eric Yorkie texted on his cell phone, pressing keys with rapid-fire precision.

"Hey, Em," I said as I reached him. I clapped him on his solid bicep, swallowing hard over the tingle his sharp blue gaze elicited in my belly. After almost three months of separation, I'd hoped my reactions to him would have subsided. Apparently not.

"We missed you around here all summer, asshole. Your dad really screwed you over with that crappy internship, huh?" He returned the arm pounding, then blinked at me in surprise. "Jeez, Jasper. You been working out?"

I _was_ kind of proud of my buff new body. It was one of the perks of spending the summer down in New Orleans, building houses for victims of Hurricane Katrina. My ex-Marine dad had called in a favor to get me the gig on short notice. I'd told the guys I'd been forced into going, but the truth was that I'd begged my father for the internship, desperate to leave Washington for a while.

"Yeah, manual labor will do that. I missed hanging out with you douches, though," I threw back at Emmett, smirking. "What did y'all do, sit around and play Call of Duty all day?"

"'_Y'all?_' That's cute, Whitlock." Emmett rumpled my hair before I could knock his hand away from my head. "Your Texas is showing."

_Unh. Touch me again, Em. On second thought… don't._

"OK, you guys," Yorkie broke in, waving his phone. "Jessica Stanley and Angela Weber are confirmed for the party Labor Day weekend. That means that, assuming McCarty is holding out for Rosalie Hale, only Newton and Whitlock still need dates." Mike and Tyler snickered and nudged Emmett at the mention of Rosalie.

"I'll go with Bella Swan," I said without thinking. The other guys gave each other knowing looks.

"Hey, Jasper, you tap that yet?" Newton _would_ be the one to ask.

"You gotten with Lauren yet, Mike? Or was all that talk at the end of last year just hot air?" I retorted. _Sometimes the best defense is a good offense._

Tyler snorted.

"Hell, he hasn't even _talked_ to her all summer. Never called her. Pussy."

Mike's face turned red.

"Shut up, Tyler, you _fag_." He spat the word with venom, and I winced. "For your information, I'm no longer interested in Lauren Mallory. She's a total skank."

"Yeah, so he went out with Jessica, instead," Eric piped up. Now it was Tyler's turn to heat up.

"What the _hell_, Mike? You always ignored her before! Now that I said I was gonna call her, _now_ you decide to go out with her?"

It looked like my distraction had worked a little _too_ well.

Mike, unable to refute Tyler's accusation, turned on Eric instead.

"Hey, Yorkie, before you get your hopes up, I heard Angela has a thing for 'Chess-Club Cheney.'"

"Guys, guys!" Emmett broke in. "Chill. It's only the first day of school, for fuck's sake. There's plenty of new blood to choose from. Look, we're juniors. The seniors won't waste their time with underclassmen, and we outrank the sophomores, so we pretty much have our pick of the froshes. Have you _seen_ some of those hotties?" His soothing words brought a temporary peace to our contentious group. Sometimes I thought the only reason we all hung around together was because we'd known each other for-fucking-ever, and it was just easier than making new friends.

_Speaking of new friends…_ As I glanced around the auditorium, I saw a small, pale hand waving at me from across the wide aisle. I smiled, glad for the excuse to escape.

"Guys, I'll catch you later." They barely acknowledged me. Except for Emmett, who nodded and winked at me. _Sigh._

I pushed my way out of the row and ambled across the wide aisle, plopping into a seat.

"Hey, Bella."

"Hey, Jazz." The slight girl next to me offered me a wide, genuine smile, shoving her long, chestnut hair behind her ears. I put my arm around her and squeezed her in a gentle hug.

"Wow," she said, pushing on my bicep. "Look at you, all muscle-bound. I don't see you for more than two months, and you go and get all He-Man on me." I met her grin with one of my own, flexing my arms dramatically. She giggled. God, I had really missed her.

"See what swinging a hammer all summer will get you?" I leaned back in the chair, stretching my long legs underneath the seat in front of me.

Her giggles turned into snickers.

"Swinging a hammer, eh? Is that, like, a euphemism of some kind, Jazz?"

I colored slightly, realizing too late the double entendre I'd let slip. She patted my arm again in reassurance.

"I think it's amazing that you spent your whole summer helping people. I want to hear all about it."

"It was cool. Totally unexpected. I mean, I didn't know how great it would be. I just wanted to get the fuck out of here…" I trailed off, trying and failing to keep my eyes from cutting back across the aisle. Bella nodded, her eyes brimming with sympathy. I pushed on, not wanting to continue that particular line of thought.

"I met some great people, and we had the best food every night. You have to see it, Bells. It's nowhere near the same city it was before Katrina, but it has, I dunno, this _charm_ to it. The French Quarter wasn't damaged all that much in the storm, and it's full of life, while somehow being … just fucking _wounded_ underneath at the same time." I prattled on for several minutes, telling her about my exploits in the city, the friends I'd made, and the two houses my group had built from the ground up for a couple of families who had lost almost everything they owned in the 2005 disaster. Bella encouraged me, locking her espresso eyes on my face and asking pertinent questions every so often.

The last warning bell rang, and Principal Martinez made his way up onto the auditorium stage. He fiddled with the microphone on the podium and rifled through a stack of papers. We students ignored him for the time being. It would take him at least five minutes to get ready to speak, and another five to get everyone to quiet down enough so we could hear him.

Meanwhile, Bella told me about her summer job at the Newton's Sporting Goods store in Port Angeles, and what a pain the commute had been every day from Forks. Mike's parents owned the chain, with locations throughout Washington, and he worked at the PA store alongside Bella for most of the summer. His parents wanted him to take over the business eventually, and insisted he learn everything from the ground up. He took the job seriously, but not so seriously that it prevented him from flirting with Bella. I laughed with her at that. Little did he know what a waste of time _that_ was.

Someone coming in through the double doors at the other side of the room caught my eye. _Uh-oh, somebody's late for school_, I thought. Then I did a double-take, my jaw sliding open and my eyes widening.

He had thick, unruly brown hair that gleamed with red-gold highlights under the stark fluorescent lighting. His broad shoulders and chest strained under the plain black t-shirt he wore, tapering down to a slim waist and long legs highlighted by low-slung dark jeans. His face… _Oh my god._ He was stunning. Wide light eyes, straight nose, strong jaw. His mouth was pink and full, and I couldn't draw my stare away from it. His tongue flicked out, wetting his upper lip, as he glanced around uncertainly.

_Where did _he_ come from?_ I'd never been affected by someone like this, not even Em. My tongue felt baked, my mouth dessicated. My heart thundered in my chest as the beautiful boy's gaze swept carefully around the auditorium. I felt it coming toward me like a searchlight in the dark, and I held my breath, afraid to move, but not wanting to be pinned by the beam.

"Hey, loser!" My eyes snapped to Emmett, who had stood up to yell. The new boy swiveled his head to see where the epithet had come from and smiled. Suddenly, he radiated confidence as he turned and walked toward Emmett.

_Huh. How does Em know him?_

I mentally shook myself out of my trance before I could give myself away. Glancing furtively around me, I realized that I wasn't the only person watching the new boy saunter up the aisle. All of the heads that turned—besides mine, of course—belonged to females. Bella, however, was still recounting one of Newton's attempts to convince her to carpool with him to work.

The new boy reached the row of seats where Emmett was sitting with the rest of the gang. He laughed at something Mike said and slid into the row, heading in toward the seat I'd vacated a few minutes before. As he did, he looked up across the aisle and our eyes met.

I froze, unable to look away. He froze, too. His eyes widened and his lips parted almost imperceptibly. I couldn't read the expression on his face.

"Jasper? You OK?" Bella nudged my shoulder. I didn't move. The new boy's eyes darted to her, then back to me. I thought I saw his jaw tighten, but he quickly looked away, freeing me from his imprisoning stare. The whole thing couldn't have lasted more than five seconds, but it had felt like hours.

I released a shaky breath, suddenly remembering where I was. I turned back to Bella. Her expression was neutral, but I could see the concern crinkling the furrow between her brows. I gave her a half-smile, only one corner of my mouth quirking up. Her gaze flicked toward Emmett and the guys and back to me. I sighed, taking her hand in mine and twining our fingers.

I didn't have to say a word. My friend Bella knew.

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**A/N:** What's great about doing a multi-chapter fic is that you can add so many layers and details that you just can't include in a o/s. What's hard about doing a multi-chapter fic is that you have to add so many layers and details that you just don't need in a o/s. Ah, the double-edged sword that is authorship. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little tease of a chapter. The next will be coming relatively soon, and will provide some background on the things that are only hinted at in this one. Thanks for reading, and reviews are always appreciated.


	2. The Path to Now

**A/N:** Welcome back! See you again at the bottom.

**WARNING:** This piece of fanfiction is rated M for slash, graphic language, and adult situations. Minors and wusses, click away, please. Also, S. Meyer owns all _Twilight_-related material. Thanks for letting us swing on your swings, Mrs. Meyer.

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**Chapter 2: The Path to Now**

It occurred to me half-way through Principal Martinez's lecture on student responsibility.

_Emmett knows the new boy. He's going to want to introduce me to him._

My heart clenched. As much as I wanted to know him—_be honest, you want to do more than _know_ him_—I couldn't risk it yet. Given my instinctual reaction to him, I was sure that I wouldn't be able to avoid giving myself away in his presence. I needed time… time to desensitize myself to his effect on me.

_Yeah, 'cause that worked so well with Emmett._

When we were finally dismissed to first period classes, I threw a hasty, "See ya later," at Bella and practically ran out of the auditorium. I saw Emmett raise a hand toward me, looking as though he would call me back, but I pretended not to see him and headed right to my locker on the other side of the building.

I stood there, panting as I struggled with the new locker combination I'd been assigned for this year. I finally got the damn thing open just as the first warning bell went off, making me jump.

_Jeez, get a hold of yourself, Whitlock! It's just the goddamn bell._

I checked my schedule, grabbed my textbooks and a binder, and slammed the locker shut before booking it down the hall. The second bell rang just as I skidded into Mr. Banner's biology class, nearly dropping my books in the process. He gave me a pointed glare as I slumped into an empty seat at one of the back lab tables. I didn't notice who was next to me until too late.

Lauren Mallory.

Her wheat-blond head tilted once in my direction, but she refused to make eye contact with me.

_Thank fucking god._

I'd never said more than two words to the girl, although we'd gone to school together since the fourth grade. Even so, our relationship was… complicated.

At Newton's annual Labor-Day blowout last year, I got totally shit-faced. I'd never really drunk a lot before, so after five shots of whatever Emmett was pouring, my head felt like it was floating two feet above my shoulders, and my feet felt like they were stuffed into three or four pairs of thick socks.

I remember nothing after downing those shots other than hazy visions of stumbling up the stairs from Mike's basement rec room in desperate search of a place to pee. I only have Emmett's word that he later found me passed out in an upstairs bathroom, my pants pulled down and my dick in Lauren Mallory's mouth.

_Ugh_. I shuddered at the thought. Lauren was, shall we say, less-than-discriminating with what she did and who she did it with. But let's face it. Even if she had been a perfectly nice girl who'd just gotten a little adventurous at a party, the idea of letting a girl touch me _there_ was just plain off-putting.

The whole Labor Day fiasco was the reason I was stone-cold sober that weekend early in January, when Mike held another Friday night get-together at his parents' house. There was no way I was setting myself up for anything like that again. Also, I was scared shitless that I would let my secret slip while under the influence. I offered myself as permanent DD, which Emmett appreciated so much, he never bothered to question my motives.

The universities in the surrounding areas were still on winter break, so there was a disproportionate number of college-age people at this particular party. I guess word-of-mouth had something to do with it. At any rate, there was a bunch of older guys standing around the Newton's basement bar and drinking all the booze. Mike kept throwing them sullen looks, but he was too chicken to say anything to them.

I got sick of watching those college assholes hit on all the high-school girls, so I wandered upstairs to the main floor. I heard voices coming from the back of the house, but I couldn't tell who was speaking or what they were saying. I ambled into the designer kitchen, opening cabinets and peeking into the fridge. Grabbing an apple off the counter and taking a bite, I walked aimlessly back out of the room.

The voices I'd heard were louder now. One was low and masculine, and sounded angry. The other was feminine, higher-pitched and muffled.

_Lovers' spat,_ I thought, even as I found myself moving closer to them.

I stopped in front of a closed door. From my previous visits to the Newtons' home, I knew this was a bathroom with an entrance that led out back to the pool. The voices were coming from inside. I pressed my ear to the door.

"You'll like it, alright. I know your type," said the masculine voice in a sneering tone. "You play the little virgin, but you like it rough, don't you?"

My apple dropped, forgotten, to the floor.

The female voice answered; the words were indiscernible but frantic. I didn't realize what I was doing until I'd already busted the door in with my shoulder. I barely felt the ache when I saw what was on the other side.

The guy wore a black leather jacket, his dull brown hair pulled into a ponytail at the nape of his neck. He was straddling a struggling girl, his knees on her arms pinning her to the tile floor. One of his hands covered her mouth, while the other held the collar of her blouse as though about to rip it from her body. He had turned his head as I came through the door, and a scowl covered his features.

"What the _fuck_, man?" he growled. That's when I caught sight of the girl's face.

It was Bella Swan.

I'd known Bella since I moved to Forks when I was nine. She was new then, too, having come to live with her dad when her mom remarried. We'd always been friendly, but never too close. Nevertheless, I liked her. She was one of those people who were genuinely kind to everyone. She, of all people, didn't deserve to be manhandled like that.

"Get off her, man," I warned the asshole.

He didn't move. His eyes swept over me, judging and dismissing me.

"You got the wrong idea here, dude. Just go about your business." He turned his back on me.

Big mistake.

I might not have been beefy like Emmett, but my ex-marine daddy had taught me a few things. I swiftly grabbed the guy by the back of his neck and hauled him off of Bella. Before he could react, I had him on his back on the tile. I slammed my heel down on his stomach. He clutched his midsection, curling up and groaning.

"You're lucky I didn't crush your balls, motherfucker," I spat, breathing hard, adrenaline coursing through me. "Don't you ever touch Bella again. You do, and I'll fucking _end_ you. You got me?"

He didn't answer, just kept moaning and holding his stomach. I leaned down and grabbed him by his ponytail, pulling his head back.

"You got me, asshole?" I repeated with venom. He cringed and nodded furiously. I let him go and stood up, looking over at Bella. She was pale and shaking.

"Come on, darlin'. Let's get you out of here." I offered her my hand and she took it, allowing me to help her up.

"Are you hurt?" I asked anxiously once I had her out in the hallway. She shook her head, her eyes wide.

"Jasper, that was… that was incredible. The way you just took him down like that–thank you so much." Tears welled up and started falling down her ashen cheeks.

I took her in my arms, hugging her gently but securely. The violence that had surged inside me drained away.

"It's alright, Bells. You're okay. He's not gonna hurt you, I promise."

She sobbed silently into my shirt for a few minutes. I just held her, whispering reassurances into her ear, caressing her hair. Finally, I lifted her chin with my hand.

"Do you want something to drink? Water, I mean?" Without waiting for an answer, I led her into the kitchen.

Emmett was there, peering into the open freezer.

"Does this fancy fridge have an ice maker or what?" He murmured. Then he saw us and his jaw dropped.

"What the hell happened?"

I looked at Bella, letting her know with my eyes that I wouldn't say anything. It was her story to tell, if she wanted. She gave me a small smile and turned back to Emmett.

"Jasper pulled some drunk guy off me. Pulled this totally cool street-fighter move on him and everything."

Emmett gaped at her.

"Jasper? _This_ Jasper?"

I frowned.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence there, Em."

After a moment, he beamed at me.

"Never knew you had it in you, bro."

_Yeah, Em, there's lots you don't know about me_, I thought.

Emmett turned back to Bella, his expression morphing into one of concern.

"You alright, Bells? Did you get hurt?"

She shook her head.

"No, I'm okay. Jasper rescued me before anything really happened."

His eyes met mine, trying to assess whether or not she was telling the truth. I raised my eyebrow slightly, not willing to contradict her verbally. After a long moment, he returned his gaze to her.

"Who?" he said, his voice low.

Bella squirmed before answering.

"James."

Emmett's eyes narrowed.

"Ponytail? Black leather jacket?"

Bella nodded, looking at her feet.

"You wanna call the cops? I mean, your dad _is_ the police chief…"

"No, Emmett," she said quickly. "My dad… he'll just worry about me even more. I don't want to..." she trailed off, shrugging her shoulders.

Emmett nodded once.

"I'll take care of it." Without another word, he left the kitchen.

I don't know exactly what happened in the rec room after that. All I know is that, in the space of five minutes, there was a mass exodus of college students from Mike's house. I didn't see James leave, and I never saw his face again after that night.

I insisted on driving Bella home and walking her to her door. She didn't put up much of a fight. Just before she went inside, she gave me a light peck on the cheek.

"Thanks again, Jasper. You really saved me. I can never thank you enough."

I colored slightly.

"Don't even think about it, Bells. You'd do the same for me."

"Well," she giggled, "Only if you showed me that neat move you did on James."

"You got it, darlin'. I'll show you all my super-ninja tricks, if you want."

"I should warn you, though," she said, "I'm horribly uncoordinated. I'll probably end up elbowing myself in the face."

"That's not really possible, Bella. You can't elbow _yourself_ in the face." I snorted with amusement.

"Yeah, well," she said, laughing, "I make the impossible possible. Trust me, and keep your sensitive bits clear."

I laughed, too, as she wished me a good night and disappeared inside.

_I never realized how funny she is_, I mused as I got back into my car and drove home.

All weekend long, I alternated between feeling grateful that I'd gotten to Bella in time, and angry as fuck at that prick who had attacked her. I even called her Saturday afternoon, just to make sure she was really alright. My protective feelings toward her grew alongside my admiration for her warmhearted wit and her graciousness.

On Monday, as I pulled into the school parking lot, I saw Bella there, leaning against the tomato-red monstrosity she called a truck. She waved to me, smiling as I got out of the car and walked toward her.

"Hey, Bella," I greeted her, inordinately glad to see her.

"Hey, Super Ninja," she returned. I grinned and blushed.

We began hanging out together during lunch and after school, trading quips and debating the merits of our favorite bands and authors. I was amazed at how quickly we bonded, and I found myself eager to spend time with her. She never judged or criticized me. She was sharp and observant, but her teasing was always gentle. I felt like I could tell her anything. Well, almost anything.

I don't know what held me back, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her my secret. I'd hidden that part of myself for so long that I wasn't sure I _could_ let it out to anyone. Even Bella.

I should have known better.

After a few weeks of this new closeness between us, I started to worry that her feelings for me were changing. She reached for my hand an awful lot, and kissed me on the cheek quite often. She told me I made her feel safe, and I worried that "safe" was girl-code for "romantic." Kids at school started to make comments about us being together, which I suppose was a convenient smokescreen for me, but which fueled my anxiety. I didn't know how to tell her I couldn't return her feelings.

We were at her house one Wednesday afternoon, watching reruns of _Top Chef_. I was sitting on one end of the couch, and she was lying down with her head in my lap. This wasn't an uncommon position for us to take but, for some reason, today it felt uncomfortable. I pulled her to sit up and face me.

"Bella," I began, feeling the blood rise in my cheeks, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Jasper. What's up"

I opened my mouth and closed it again, trying to come up with the least embarrassing way of saying what I needed to say. Bella waited patiently for me to gather my thoughts.

"How– " I stammered, "How do you… feel about me?"

She gave me a quizzical look.

"Well, you're my friend. Probably my best friend." Her expression turned sad. "Do you think we're spending too much time together? I'll understand, really…"

"No, no, Bells," I interrupted her. "You're my best friend, too. I love hanging out with you." Her face cleared. I looked down at my lap, wondering how to continue.

"Jazz?" she said. "Do you… did you think I might have a– a _crush_ on you?"

I nodded slowly, not meeting her eyes.

"Jazz, look at me, please."

I complied reluctantly.

"Jazzy, I love you as a friend, but believe me when I tell you that you are definitely not my type." She giggled, then sighed. "To be honest, I'm not really sure what my type is."

"But it's not me?"

"No, I promise I don't feel that way about you. You're like my brother. I feel like I can depend on you, you know? Like you'll always be there for me."

I let out the breath I'd been holding.

"Me, too, Bells. I feel like I can tell you anything."

"Anything?" she asked, with a sly glint in her eye.

"Um –" I began, but she cut in.

"I'll understand if you're not ready, Jazz. But I'm your friend, your _best_ friend. I know you." She took a breath before continuing. "I see the way you look at Emmett."

I gulped, feeling a pit open in my stomach. Sensitive as she was, though, she only let me stew for a second.

"I guess," she said in a quiet voice, "it's the same way I look at his sister."

I felt the muscles of my chest and shoulders unclench as I took this in.

"Oh. Wow."

"Surprised?" she asked.

"Yeah." I nodded. "But I didn't really get a chance to see you with Alice much, considering she's two grades ahead of us. You had the advantage over me, there."

"True," she said. "There were other clues, though. I mean, neither one of us ever talked about someone of the opposite sex—at least, not in a romantic way."

"That should have tipped me off, huh?" I smiled ruefully. "Sorry I wasn't paying attention."

"Yeah, you self-absorbed Super Ninjas are a real pain in the ass," she replied, flicking my ear with her finger. I tickled her in retaliation, and she writhed out of my reach.

"So, Alice, huh?" I said when we had calmed down.

She blushed and tilted her chin down.

"Isn't it funny how we ended up crushing on siblings?"

"Technically, they're half-siblings," I said. "But who's counting?"

We looked at one another then, awareness and empathy flowing back and forth between us. It was a surreal moment for me. I never thought I'd be able to tell anyone I was gay, and here I was, talking about it openly with Bella Swan. If someone had told me a few months ago that this would happen, I would have called them crazy, or a liar, or both.

I found myself spilling my guts to her. I told her about the moment I'd first realized I was gay. I was thirteen and I popped a boner over the scene in _Blade: Trinity_ where a shirtless and deliciously ripped Ryan Reynolds is chained and interrogated by the bad vampires. Leaving the theater that day, my friends couldn't stop talking about Jessica Biel kicking ass, and I'd been mortified when I realized how different my reaction had been. When Emmett had clapped me on the shoulder, grinning and asking if I thought she was "fuckhot," I'd nodded vigorously, desperate to fit in and be considered normal.

It was soon after the _Blade_ incident, I told Bella, that my feelings for Emmett had started to develop. He was popular, athletic, and good-looking, with his wavy dark hair and ice-blue eyes. He was a good friend, too, always backing me up even though I was awkward and shy. Because he liked me, the other guys accepted me into their group. I never felt completely comfortable around him, though, always worried that my attraction to him would become obvious.

The guys I hung out with all bandied insults like "fag," "fairy," and "homo" all the time, never realizing that, with every epithet, they drove me further into hiding. My parents did the same thing, albeit in another way. My mama always talked about me finding a nice girl someday. My daddy—the gruff, no-nonsense former Marine—was a real "man's man." I couldn't bear to think about disappointing them, or having them reject me. So I played the part of the good son. I told Mama that I wanted to focus on my studies, and that I would concentrate on dating when there wasn't so much pressure to keep my grades up for college applications. She bought it, patting my cheek and calling me her "studious little angel." It bothered me to deceive her, but I didn't know what else to do.

Bella listened to my rant, putting in a sympathetic comment every so often. When I wound down, she launched into her own story. Her awareness of her sexual orientation had come more gradually than mine. There was no "aha" moment for her, just a slow awareness that she found other girls attractive. Her crush on Alice came about during freshman year, when they both worked behind the scenes for the school play. Alice was a junior then, and she did the costume design for the show, while Bella painted scenery. Petite, beautiful Alice was bubbly and friendly, and made Bella feel like part of the group. But, as she grew more attracted to Alice, Bella worried that the older girl would never return her feelings, so she pulled back to protect her heart.

I hugged her when she said that, understanding exactly what she was going through.

"Did you ever tell anyone about all this besides me?" I asked.

"No." She sighed. "My dad isn't… comfortable talking about this kind of stuff, and my mom is too busy with her own life to take much interest in mine."

I tightened my arms around her.

"Well, then, darlin'," I said, "It's a good thing I'm around."

*~*~*

I was startled when the bell rang again. Mr. Banner called out the homework assignment as everyone around me gathered their books and started shuffling off to their next classes. Beside me, Lauren hastily stuffed her papers into her binder and turned away without a glance at me. I knew she thought I hated her.

I couldn't exactly say I was _happy_ about Lauren trying to suck me off, but I couldn't be completely upset about it, either. If she hadn't taken advantage of me when I was wasted, I wouldn't have been sober at the party in January, and I wouldn't have been able to rescue Bella. We would never have become best friends. It made me sick to think about that. I couldn't go back to hiding from everyone. Sharing my true self with just one other person—with Bella—made me feel like a whole person for the first time in my life.

Contemplating gratitude toward Lauren Mallory was too fucked up for this early in the day, especially since I was also stressing over the new boy. I sighed heavily as I trudged off to trig class, wishing I had the guts to ditch school for once.

The rest of my morning classes dragged interminably. Visions of unruly bronze hair and low-slung jeans kept distracting me, along with jolts of fear at my uncontrollable reactions. I couldn't wait for lunch just to get some sugar and/or caffeine into my system so I could snap myself out of this funk I was in.

Finally, _finally_, the bell rang. Pushing away the dangerous, seductive images in my head, I leaped out of my seat and jogged to my locker to dump my books. Loping toward the cafeteria, I rounded the corner and skidded to a halt, my visions from that morning erupting and raining down on me like fiery hail.

Emmett was in the doorway of the caf, talking to Eric and… the new boy.

_I'm fucked._

* * *

**A/N continued:** Huge thanks to everyone who read and alerted/favorited/reviewed. You all make me squee with delight. Seriously. RL sucks donkey testicles at the moment, which means I had a choice between writing this chapter and replying to each of you who took the time to write a much-appreciated review. I thought you'd prefer the chapter over the replies. Hope I was right. :-)

At any rate, I do want to answer some of your questions.

(1) Yes, this story will be entirely in JPOV. I may do some outtakes from Emmett's or Edward's POV, as need and/or opportunity arise.

(2) Never having written a multi-chapter fic before, I can't tell you if I will be able to stick to a regular posting schedule. Right now, I seem to have the creative juices flowing. I'll start from there and see how it goes.

That's all for now. I think we're through the back-story at this point and, soon enough, the citrus will ripen. I hope you're still enjoying this little fic – please feel free to let me know. Thanks again, everyone.


	3. Evasive Action

**A/N:** Hi, fellow slashophiles. I reworked this chapter about a dozen times before I got it anywhere close to right. [Sigh] Multi-chaps and their pesky details. See you again at the bottom.

**WARNING:** This piece of fanfiction is rated M for slash, graphic language, and adult situations. Minors and wusses, click away, please. Also, S. Meyer owns all _Twilight_-related material. Thanks for letting us hang on your monkey bars, Mrs. Meyer.

* * *

**Chapter 3: Evasive Action**

_Finally, _finally_, the bell rang. Pushing away the dangerous, seductive images in my head, I leaped out of my seat and jogged to my locker to dump my books. Loping toward the cafeteria, I rounded the corner and skidded to a halt, my visions from that morning erupting and raining down on me like fiery hail._

_Emmett was in the doorway of the caf, talking to Eric and… the new boy._

I'm fucked.

*~*~*

Before I could make my frozen muscles work, someone rammed into me from behind. I turned just in time to catch Bella before she fell over.

"Oof. Sorry, Jazzy." She swiped aside the hair that had thrown itself across her reddened face. "I didn't expect you to stop short like that—"

My hands gripped her arms almost too tightly.

"Bella, thank god," I huffed in relief.

"What's the matter, Jazz?" she asked, frowning in concern. She glanced around me to the door of the caf, and her eyes widened. "Ohhhh," she breathed.

My shoulders slumped.

"Yeah…" I didn't turn around to look. Keeping my attention on her face, I watched her eyes narrow and her brows shoot up a second later.

"What?" I asked, afraid to follow her gaze.

Her eyes shifted to me.

"Oh, let's just go around and come in the other side, m'kay?" she said too cheerfully. She linked her arm through mine and pulled me through the halls, around to the double doors on the opposite side of the caf. As we got in line to buy lunch, I chanced a quick once-over of the room. My eyes honed in like heat-seeking missiles on Emmett and the new boy sitting at our group's usual table. The others weren't there. I spotted Mike chatting up some sophomore girls a few tables away. Eric and Tyler were sitting with Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory, who didn't look thrilled with their attentions.

The lunch line advanced. I threw some things on a tray, not really caring what I was taking. Glancing back toward Emmett, I saw him clap the new boy on the shoulder and laugh heartily, as only Emmett could. The new boy's face flushed pink as people at nearby tables looked over curiously at the chortling hulk next to him.

Bella, who had been silent since we'd entered the caf, let out a giggle of her own.

"Well, at least _Emmett's_ happy to be back in school."

I offered her a half-grin and paid for my lunch. She took her tray and, with me tagging along behind, grabbed one of the smaller tables along one wall, nodding at me to take the seat opposite her. She gave me a piercing look as I sat.

"Okay, Whitlock. Spill."

"Um…" I couldn't meet her eyes.

She leaned forward.

"Jasper, it's me."

Those three words spoke volumes. I heard worry, compassion, and a touch of hurt in her tone. I looked up into her gold-flecked espresso stare.

"Sorry, Bells," I sighed. "I'm just… I'm so confused."

She nodded her head in sympathy.

"Is it Emmett?"

"No. Well, kinda…"

Her expression turned quizzical, but she said nothing, waiting patiently for me to go on.

I took a deep breath, trying to put words to the turmoil inside me.

"You wanna know why I _had_ to leave, why I couldn't stay in Forks this summer?"

She nodded again.

"That feeling, that electricity," I said, pitching my voice low so I wouldn't be overheard. "Every time he touched me, or even got close to me. It was torture. I wanted so badly to tell him how I felt. One look in those sky-blue eyes, and I just… I was a mess. Emmett was all I could think about. It got to the point where I wasn't sleeping…"

"I could tell," Bella said when my voice trailed off. "By the time finals rolled around, you were jumpy as hell. And you looked so exhausted."

I rubbed my hands over my face. I'd left back in June without telling Bella why, assuming that she would understand. And she did. Whenever I'd called her from New Orleans, we'd kept things light, talking mostly about my day-to-day experiences with the project or the latest Forks gossip. I'd never mentioned Emmett to her, not once. She hadn't pressed me. I'd felt awful for shutting her out but, at the time, I couldn't bear to _think_ about it, much less _discuss_ it. Now, I was realizing just how much my behavior must have hurt her.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I said again, hoping she would hear my sincerity. "I couldn't talk about it, I just… I was barely holding it together. When my dad mentioned the New Orleans project, I jumped at it. I just had to get away, clear my head. I figured you'd understand if anyone could, but I'm sorry I pushed you away like that."

Her small hand descended on my large one, drawing soothing circles on the back with her fingers. Telling me without words that she forgave me.

"But Emmett's not the problem," I said.

She stopped rubbing my hand and glanced up sharply at me.

"So, what's going on?" she asked when I didn't continue. "Do you still have feelings for him?"

"Yeah, but…" I started, then stopped, my mouth open but the words stalled on my tongue.

Bella just looked at me, not speaking, giving me time to organize my thoughts. Knowing what I needed, as always.

"When I saw him this morning," I whispered, pushing the words out of me, "I felt it again, that electricity. I put my hand on his arm and it was like a shock, you know?"

Bella nodded.

"But then I…" I stalled again, and she resumed petting my hand. I relaxed enough to let the words come.

"Did you see the new boy?" My voice was barely audible to my ears, but she heard me. Her head automatically turned toward where Emmett and the new boy were sitting.

"Don't look!" I hissed. Her head jerked back to me, an apologetic grimace on her face.

"Sorry," I said. "Didn't mean to snap. Just… don't look over there, okay?" Even though I desperately wanted to do just that. I'd wanted to do nothing but stare outright at him since the moment I'd laid eyes on him.

"Don't need to, anyway," Bella chuckled. "Even if I hadn't already seen him myself, I could probably draw him just by listening to all the dreamy descriptions of him I keep hearing from the general female population. Chiseled jaw, marble cheekbones, gorgeous green eyes, major sex hair, a body made for sin… right?"

"Yeah, pretty much," I sighed. She'd nailed it, at least from my point of view. "I guess the guys all met him this summer while I was gone. When I was sitting with you at assembly this morning, he came in and I saw him for the first time. It was like…" I fumbled for words. "If touching Emmett is like electricity, then just _locking eyes_ with this boy is like a lightning bolt."

"Wow," Bella said. "I take it you actually _did_ lock eyes with him, then."

"Yeah, before he sat down with the guys, we had kind of a… moment, I guess you could say."

"Wow," she said again. "So, is the feeling mutual, do you think?"

_Huh._ That stopped me. _Mutual? He _was_ looking back at me. Could he possibly have felt what I did?_

I shivered.

"How can I tell?"

"Well," Bella tapped her lower lip with her thumbnail. "If you had a moment with him, then it's something you shared, right? I mean, you can't really have a moment with someone if they don't share it with you."

She had a point.

"Jazz, I'm going to say something really radical. Are you ready?"

I looked at her curiously and gave a short nod. She leaned over the table, putting her hands on my shoulders.

"Why don't you _talk_ to him? Get to know him. See if the attraction is real, and if he gives off any signals that he's attracted to you, too."

I snorted.

"_Talk_ to him? I talk to Emmett, and look where that got me!"

"Jazz," Bella said, shaking her head gently, "How are you ever going to find out how he feels if you don't take a chance? You could be missing out on an opportunity for a real relationship. Hell, I need to take my own advice." Her expression turned rueful.

I sighed deeply. My brain knew she was probably right, but the nerves twisting in my belly said otherwise. Coming out to anyone in Forks other than Bella just didn't seem like an option.

"I— I'm just not ready yet, Bells. Maybe someday, but not right now."

She smiled.

"Okay, but I have to tell you something." She lowered her voice. "When I ran into you outside the caf, the new boy was watching you."

It was my turn to look sharply at her.

"_What?_"

She smirked.

"He was. He was looking right at you when you caught me. You should've seen his face. He was like a deer in the headlights."

My will crumbled and I gave in to the pull, swinging around to look at him. He and Emmett were now surrounded by half a dozen girls. As I watched, one of them, Samantha Wells, touched his arm and whispered in his ear. His chair was turned so that I couldn't see his face, or tell what his reaction to her was. My stomach tightened.

Emmett was grinning like a maniac, but that might have been because one of the girls standing around his table was Rosalie Hale. She had moved to Forks half-way through freshman year, and her model looks and Amazonian stature had garnered her a lot of male attention, all of which she had rebuffed unceremoniously. There was nothing Emmett enjoyed – aside from a beautiful woman – more than a challenge.

Rosalie was the only girl within a hundred-foot radius who _wasn't_ focused on the new boy. She stood with her hand on her hip, rolling her eyes at whatever Emmett was saying. Every other female eye was trained on the gorgeous specimen to Emmett's right.

_Close your mouths, ladies. You're drooling. Just like I'd be if I let myself._

The bell rang. I glanced down at my barely-eaten food, sighed, and got up to dump the tray.

"Think about what I said, Jasper." Bella gave my arm a squeeze.

"I will, Bells. I'm not sure I like my odds, though," I said, gesturing to the new boy's admirers.

She glanced dismissively at the preening flock of females.

"They're only competition if he's interested in them, Jazz" she said. "That's what you have to find out. Don't put the cart before the horse."

"Thanks, Confucious," I retorted, jabbing her in the ribs with my index finger. She let out a squeal and slapped my hand away.

"Confucious say, get your ass away from me before I beat it!"

I draped my arm over her shoulder and dropped an affectionate kiss on top of her head. She leaned into me as we made our way out of the caf.

A tingling heat began in the base of my neck and worked its way to the top of my head. Slowly, I swiveled my gaze over Bella's head until I met the endless jade depths of the new boy's eyes.

He stared at me for several long seconds before dropping his gaze. I couldn't have looked away if a tornado had blown through at that moment.

I barely registered a tug on my arm.

"Earth to Jasper. Come in, Jasper."

Wrenching myself out of my daze, I turned back to Bella.

"Wha…?" Coherency seemed to have left the building. Or at least my brain.

"I said, we have English and gym together for the last two periods." Her mouth quirked up and her eyes danced with wry understanding. "I'll see you then, okay? I've gotta get to Banner's biology class before all the good lab tables are taken."

"Oh," I said, my faculties returning sluggishly. "Okay. See you."

She shook her head at me and walked off toward her locker. I staggered off to mine. While gathering my books for the second half of the day, it hit me.

_What if _he_ has a class with me? What am I gonna do?_

There was no way I could function with him around, that much had already been proven. If I actually had a class with him, I might spontaneously combust from the heat my body generated in his presence.

My anxiety spiked, and my breaths came in short pants as I slunk into Madame Gerard's French class. I kept my head down and grabbed a seat in the back corner from which I could watch the door. Students trickled into the room singly and in groups, but no glorious head of thick bronze hair appeared. The bell rang, and I let my relief out in a huff as my shoulders loosened.

My confidence rose a bit as the period passed. By the time Madame Gerard gave us our homework assignment, my anxiety had gone back down to a manageable level. I figured I only had three more classes to go until the end of the day. The odds of him showing up in any of them were slim.

_Right?_

My next class was U.S. History, which raised my spirits even more. History was my strongest subject. Other kids complained about having to memorize useless names and dates, but I loved gathering all the details and fitting them together to form a coherent picture. I got off on seeing how events in the past led directly to what was happening in the world today. It was admittedly my nerdiest trait.

It helped that Mr. Jefferson was an awesome teacher. He put all the dry facts into context for us, giving us fascinating glimpses into the political and cultural climate of each place and time-period we studied. Last year's Ancient World History course was amazing, but American History was my true love. I couldn't wait until we got to the War Between the States.

In this fanboy state of mind, I chose a seat in back and proceeded to leaf through my textbook. I completely failed to notice who entered the room a minute later until a shock jolted me out of my daydreaming. There, standing at Mr. Jefferson's desk, was _the new boy_. His glass-green gaze touched me before he turned his focus toward Mr. Jefferson.

At the bell, the class settled down and Mr. J. stood up.

"For those of you who have not had the privilege of meeting him, this is our newest student, Edward Cullen," he said, gesturing to the new boy. "Edward, here's a book. Find yourself a seat."

My mind whirled.

_Edward. His name is Edward._

This morning, it hadn't even occurred to me to wonder. Now, all of a sudden, I couldn't imagine his name being anything else. It was a strong name, old-fashioned but cool. Kinda like mine. It suited him, I decided.

Edward dropped into an open seat in the front row, looking glad just to get out of the spotlight. Poor guy had probably had to endure introductions like that all day. At least Mr. J. hadn't made him introduce himself.

Although I fought the urge, time and time again I found my eyes drifting to the back of Edward's head, watching the fluorescent light glint gold in his hair. He took copious notes, his writing hand flying over the pages of his notebook. His other hand came up frequently to run through his disorderly mane or to rub the back of his graceful neck. These small gestures betrayed his nerves and tugged at my heart. I'd been the new kid once – I could imagine exactly how he was feeling.

He was adorable. More that that, though… he was so fucking beautiful, I could have cried. My seat was behind his at an angle, and I could see his profile whenever he turned slightly to follow Mr. J.'s pacing at the front of the room. His features weren't perfect – his bottom lip was fuller than his top one, and his nose had a little bump at the bridge – but these so-called flaws only served to render him even more gorgeous. He was _real_, not some plastic, airbrushed ideal.

Somehow, I managed to follow the lecture and take decent notes. It probably helped that I owned — and watched — a documentary about the early history of the New World colonies on DVD. When the bell rang, I watched Edward gather his things and make his way out of the classroom. He didn't glance back at me, and I was grateful. I needed a moment to calm down. I had English next, and I could cut across the courtyard and make it to class with plenty of time to spare. I slowly stood up and stretched, taking my time in getting my stuff together and strolling out the door. Ninety seconds later, having taken my shortcut, I met Bella in Ms. Mason's room.

She had beaten me there, coming from Trig class four doors down. Knowing my seating preference, she had snagged two seats toward the back corner of the room for us. She grinned at me as I walked in and made my way toward her.

"Hey, stranger," she said as I plopped down next to her. "How goes it so far?"

"Well," I began, but my voice cut off as the new boy… no, as _Edward_ entered the room. He must have taken the long way around from History. He was talking with Mike Newton, of all people, as the two of them came in together. Edward's eyes bounced around the room before settling on me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bella give him a little wave. He smiled back at her and nodded before sitting in the middle of the room with that ass, Mike, who generally chose a seat where he thought the girls could best ogle him.

I turned to Bella with what must have been a perplexed expression, because she blushed a bit and ducked her chin.

"He's in my Biology class right after lunch. We ended up sharing a lab table. He seems pretty nice, although we didn't get much of a chance to talk. Oh, by the way, his name is—"

"Edward Cullen, "I broke in, keeping my voice hushed. "Yeah, I know. He was in my History class last period."

She widened her eyes.

"Really? That's great, Jazz. You guys'll have something to talk about, now. You love history."

"Sure," I snorted, "that's the perfect way to impress him. Go all history-geek on his ass."

Bella chuckled.

"Well, go _something_ on his ass, if you know what I mean."

My jaw dropped. Before I could retort, though, Ms. Mason came into the room and asked for our attention. I had to settle for kicking Bella's foot. I'd definitely be getting her back later for _that_ comment.

Ms. Mason pointed at Edward and gestured for him to stand.

"Class, please welcome Edward Cullen. Edward, introduce yourself, if you don't mind."

His face turned red, but he rose and complied. I wonder how many teachers had made him go through this little ritual today.

"Uh, I'm Edward… like Ms. Mason said." His fingers pushed through his hair. "I'm from Chicago, I moved here over the summer because of my dad's job, and – uh – I guess that's it." He waited for permission to sit.

"Thank you, Edward," said Ms. Mason. "I know you didn't enjoy being put on the spot like that, but public speaking is part of the Junior English curriculum, so get used to it. That goes for all of you." Groans went around the room, and Bella in particular sank lower into her chair. Ms. Mason gave us all the gimlet eye before letting Edward sit back down.

It was tougher for me to keep my eyes on him this class because (a) Lee Stephens's big head was blocking my view, and (b) Bella kept poking my arm with her pencil whenever I got distracted. I didn't know whether to kiss her or poke her back.

The period flew by. It seemed like only minutes had passed when Ms. Mason looked up at the clock. She shut her copy of _Beowulf_ just as the bell went off.

"Alright, continue reading ahead at home, and tomorrow we'll pick up our discussion where we left off. It's already Wednesday, people, and we have a short week next week because of Labor Day, so we're behind before we've even begun. With that in mind, start thinking about the theme of your first paper. It will be due two weeks from this Friday, so get cracking."

We all knew enough not to groan aloud this time, but the eye-rolling that commenced was epic.

Mike dragged Edward out of the room as soon as he stood up. Bella and I followed more slowly, making our way to the gym for last period.

_I will never be more grateful for the end of a school day._

"Thank god we don't have to dress for gym today," Bella sighed.

"Do you know what torture Coach Clapp has planned for us?" I asked, gently mocking Bella's terror of Physical Education. The first-period gym class most likely had spread the news all over school by lunchtime, but I had been too out-of-it to pay any attention.

"The choices are either badminton or touch football this term, volleyball or basketball second term, aerobics or weight-training third, and baseball or archery last term." She wrinkled her nose. "Can you _see_ me doing archery?"

I laughed. Although the image of Coach Clapp screaming at Bella with an arrow stuck in his ass was actually too much of a possibility to be truly funny.

Bella elbowed me.

"Hey," I returned, whispering, "you deserve a little payback for your comment about Edward's ass."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes. "You know you want it."

"Shhh!" I glanced around worriedly, but no one was paying us any attention as we entered the gym. We hopped up into the bleachers with the rest of the class, weaving in and out of the groups standing around, settling ourselves three rows from the top. As the bell sounded, everyone else sat down, as well, no longer obstructing my view.

_Fuck my life._

Edward was in this class, too.

He was sitting with Mike and Tyler, a few rows down and over from me. Tyler was making obscene gestures behind the backs of Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley, who were sitting in front of them. Mike was laughing. Edward merely smiled.

Coach blew his whistle and explained the electives for this term. He began calling role and registering each student for the sport of his or her choice. Not surprisingly, the girls all went with badminton, while the boys chose football.

I started to think about being in gym with Edward. Playing football with Edward. Being in the _locker room_ with Edward.

_Oh, shit._

My dick had finally had enough, and it rebelled against this final onslaught, stiffening in my jeans. I gritted my teeth and tried to think of something – _anything_ – to make it go down again. My usual anti-boner image of Lauren taking me in her mouth wasn't working, mainly because she was sitting right in front of Edward. If I looked at her, I could see him.

_Not helping. At all._

My knee began bouncing as my palms started to sweat. Coach Clapp droned on in his nasal bellow about the rules of the gym and his expectations for the class. I couldn't concentrate on any of it. A distant part of my mind wondered how many of my teachers' words had actually registered with me today.

A hand pushed my knee down, holding it briefly still.

"Jasper, can I help?" Bella asked quietly, concern furrowing her brow.

I shook my head, unable to speak.

Coach had moved on to demonstrating first aid techniques. I kept my eyes focused on the basketball hoop at the far end of the gym. If I could keep from looking at _him_, maybe I could get myself back under control.

If English class felt merely minutes long, gym class lasted for days. My head was aching from gritting my teeth so hard, and my thigh was cramping from holding my knee still. When the last bell of the day rang and Coach dismissed us, I leaned over to Bella.

"Gotta go, Bells. Call you later?"

I barely allowed her time to nod in response before I took off, nearly sprinting out of the building.

I didn't get stopped for reckless driving on the way home, which was a damn miracle. I parked my crappy old Volvo in the driveway and jumped out, blew through the front door, and yelled a hasty greeting to my mama before flying upstairs to my room. I locked the door behind me and leaned against it.

I was panting and sweating again. It seemed to be my natural state today. All I could see were the images that had come to me during gym and chased me all the way home.

_Edward, in low-slung gym shorts and a tight t-shirt that molds to his broad shoulders and chest. A tantalizing line of sweat trails down his neck and pools at his collarbone. The football is snapped, and it sails toward him in a perfect spiral. As he jumps in slow motion to catch it, his shirt lifts, revealing a smooth, defined abdomen begging for me to lick it._

I whimpered when I realized that my hand had crept up, unbidden, to palm my cock through my pants. The throbbing was too much, and I unbuttoned and unzipped my fly, relieving the pressure. The ache, though, continued unabated.

_Edward in the locker room, peeling off his sweat-drenched shirt and dropping his shorts to the floor. His back is lean and strong, his buttocks smooth and round, just asking to be touched, squeezed, nibbled..._

My boxers joined my jeans around my thighs as, moaning softly, I caressed the sensitive head of my dick. I didn't know where this imagery was coming from, these desires that I'd never felt before. I'd had a crush on Emmett for years, and I'd thought about kissing him, holding him. I'd never, _ever_, thought about licking or biting him. I'd never drooled over his sweat. What was it about Edward that had me fantasizing so vividly?

_Edward in the shower, water raining down over his satiny skin and sculpted musculature. His hair wet and dark, he raises his face to the spray, rivulets of water running over his chest and down his sides._

I stroked faster, letting my pre-come lubricate my whole shaft as I brought myself closer to the edge. My hips took over, pushing hard into my fist over and over.

_He turns and sees me, and his emerald eyes light up._

"_C'mere, Jasper. Come join me," he says, beckoning, his voice like smoke._

_I step closer, and he takes my shoulders in his warm hands, pulling me into his body under the shower spray. Our chests touch, and then our lips touch. I can't help it – I grind my cock into his hips, and he presses back, rubbing his length against mine, and it's too much, and I fall over the edge…_

"Unh!" With a muffled cry, I spurted all over my hand, my hips still thrusting until the explosion subsided. As I came down, one thought reverberated through me.

_There's no way I can face him in school tomorrow._

* * *

**A/N continued:** You all have the patience of a saint. I realize this update has been a while in coming. Can you call it "real" life when it's so _surreal_? Anyway, I wanted to make sure you got the best chapter I could write. So, rather than slap it together and throw it up on them thar interwebz, I figured I'd redo it half a dozen times or so, make myself completely crazy over it, and then go back and edit it two or five times juuuuust to make sure I was good and nuts. You all deserve it. Seriously. I can't thank you enough for reading, alerting, favoriting, and reviewing, even in the face of a delayed chapter. I sincerely hope that reading my little contribution to the ficdom brightens your day, just like you all brighten mine.


	4. SymPathetic

**A/N:** Hello, there, faithful readers. Your patience with me remains saintly. See you again at the bottom.

**WARNING:** This piece of fanfiction is rated M for slash, graphic language, and adult situations. Minors and wusses, click away, please. Also, S. Meyer owns all _Twilight_-related material. Thanks for letting us twirl on your merry-go-round, Mrs. Meyer.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Sym-Pathetic**

"_Unh!" With a muffled cry, I spurted all over my hand, my hips still thrusting until the explosion subsided. As I came down, one thought reverberated through me._

There's no way I can face him in school tomorrow.

*~*~*

_Head down, dick down. Head down, dick down._

I repeated my mantra almost continually throughout the next two days of school.

After my vivid fantasy about Edward on Wednesday, I'd called Bella that night while in the middle of a mini-panic attack.

"Jazz, honey, relax. Breathe."

Big, gulping breaths filled my chest as I tried to comply.

"I'm freaking out, Bella. How the hell am I gonna make it through school if I spontaneously combust every time I see him?"

"Jasper," she said, "stop hyperventilating and calm down." When my panting slowed, she continued. "Look, you're obviously not ready to talk to this boy."

"No shit." My attempt to drip irony was somewhat undermined by the breathlessness of my voice.

"So, take things one day at a time. We only have two days of school left until the weekend. And then we have Monday off for Labor Day. So you'll have plenty of time to get your head on straight and come up with a plan. In the meantime, you'll be fine in the morning, since he's not in any of your classes. In the afternoon, just keep your head down and stick close to me. Alright?"

She made a lot of sense, as usual.

"I knew there was a reason you're my best friend, Bells."

She snorted.

"What, my incredible grace and sex appeal aren't reason enough?"

Her facetiousness made me wince. I knew she was joking, but I hated when she put herself down.

"You're beautiful, Bella," I said quietly. "Someday, the right woman is gonna see you, and love you, for exactly who you are."

She was silent for a moment.

"Thanks, Jazz."

"It's the truth, darlin'. You'll see." My brain darted to our original conversation as something occurred to me. "Wait, what about History? Edward's in my class, but you aren't."

"Well…" she drew out the word as she pondered. "Who else is in that class with you? Anyone who can act as a buffer?"

"Umm… Yeah, Angela Weber. I can walk to class with her after French and get her to sit with me, I guess."

"Good idea," she said approvingly. "See? We can make this work."

I tried to spin out all the possible pitfalls, and a horrible notion popped into my head.

"Shit, what if Emmett decides to introduce me to Edward tomorrow?"

"I'm kinda surprised he hasn't already," Bella said. I shuddered.

"You're right. Fuck, now I have to avoid Emmett, too. He's never gonna let me get away with that, even if we don't have any classes together."

Bella sighed.

"Emmett's a little distracted, in case you hadn't noticed," she said. "All of a sudden, Rosalie Hale is talking to him, even if it's just to tell him to go to hell. I don't think you have to worry about him chasing you down in the next couple of days."

I chuckled, somewhat relieved.

"Wow. Wanna know something weird? Last year, if you had said that, I would have been jealous. Now, though, I don't know…"

"My little Jazzy is growing up," Bella fake-sniffled.

"Well, _one _part of me is growing, anyway, whenever I see Edward." I snickered as Bella groaned.

"Ewww! Jasper Whitlock, I swear! I do _not_ want that image in my head before I go to sleep."

"Good night, Bells."

"Good night, Jazz."

Mama knocked on my door just as I turned out my light. She came in and leaned over me, kissing my forehead.

"Sugar, you alright?"

"Yes, Mama. I'm fine."

"You hardly ate any of your dinner. You feelin' okay?"

I patted her hand.

"Mama, really, I'm fine. First-day-of-school jitters just got to me, I guess. I'm okay, now. Everything's good."

She caressed my cheek as her hazel eyes searched mine. Finally, she nodded, and withdrew, wishing me a hushed "good night" and closing my door softly behind her.

I hated lying to my Mama, hated that it had become second nature to me.

Exhaustion claimed me quickly. If I had any dreams, I didn't remember them the next morning. Heading to school, I felt a fragile kind of calm as I reminded myself of Bella's "head down" plan, to which I added "dick down," sternly warning that part of my anatomy to stay in line.

I coasted through Bio, making sure to avoid Lauren. I ended up sitting next to Eric. As we performed the simple lab Mr. Banner had assigned for the period, he chattered to me about Mike's upcoming party, providing a welcome – if inane – distraction. He and I had Trig together second period, and he strolled down the hall beside me toward class, still talking as we entered the room. At the sight before me, I froze. Eric kept walking, not realizing I had stopped.

Standing at Mr. Varner's desk was a long, lean figure with a familiar shock of burnished hair.

"I'm glad you got your schedule straightened out, Edward," Mr. Varner was saying. "You haven't missed too much, and I'm sure one of your classmates will share their notes with you."

_Fuck_. So much for having an Edward-free morning.

_Head down, dick down._

I scurried to the back of the classroom and took a seat in the far corner. Eric was in the seat in front of me, and Ari Volturi slid into the open seat to my right, nodding at me in greeting. I barely acknowledged him, too busy keeping my eyes anywhere but on the one person I really wanted to watch.

I refused to look at him. I wasn't ready. I knew that, if I caved, those vivid fantasies from yesterday would flood my brain, possibly making me flood my pants. I couldn't chance it. And I couldn't spend the day running periodically to the bathroom to beat off. With my luck, I'd moan his name just as someone else walked in on me, and life as I knew it would be over.

I focused as much as I could on Mr. Varner's lecture and my notes, my bouncing knee the only outward sign on my inner turmoil. At the bell, I sprinted for the door.

He wasn't in my Intro to Psych elective. I breathed a sigh of relief as I settled in for the period to regroup and pull myself together. I was going to have to do better if I wanted to make it through the afternoon.

Dr. Trevalian had one of those soothing voices that lulled you until she went in for the kill.

"Mr. Whitlock?"

"Huh?" I blinked. "Sorry, Dr. Trevalian, could you repeat that?"

Another teacher might have shown displeasure. Dr. Trevalian merely gave me a small smile. That scared me worse than being yelled at.

"I'm asking for research topic preferences. Do you have one?"

I looked down at the handout she'd given us yesterday. The list of possible topics was long, and I'd put it aside last night, too distracted to think about it.

_Perception, memory, dreams, cognitive development…_

I don't know what happened, what strange buried urge took control of me. My eyes landed on the words, and they just popped out of my mouth.

"I'll take sexual development and orientation," I blurted.

Dr. Trevalian gave me an appraising look as the rest of the class erupted into snickers. I turned red, but looked her in the eye.

"Brave choice, Mr. Whitlock. Very well." She made a note on the pad in her hand and moved on.

I mentally kicked myself.

Samantha Wells brushed past me as I made my way to my next class.

"I can help you research your paper, Jasper," she purred in my ear.

I gave her a weak smile and let her walk on ahead of me.

I took the subsequent ribbing by the guys in my Photography class with a modicum of grace, and a bit of judicious elbowing when Mr. Appelbaum wasn't looking. My anxiety was growing because lunch was next period, and I knew I would see Edward.

Bella met me at my locker. She took one look at me and furrowed her brow.

"What happened?"

"He's in my Trig class. He got switched in today. So much for having the morning to prepare myself," I groaned.

She _tsked_ sympathetically.

"Well, you made it, at any rate. And I'll help you get ready for the afternoon."

"There's more." I took a deep breath. "I volunteered to research sexual development and orientation in Psych class."

Bella gasped.

"Sexual _orientation_?" she whispered, shocked.

I could only nod, my shock as great as hers.

"Wow." She didn't say anything else for a moment. Then she shook herself a little and gave me a determined grin.

"This is a good thing."

"Oh, yeah?" I said skeptically. "How do you figure?"

"Some part of you, the _real_ you, is itching to get out. I think this is your subconscious mind's way of easing you into things."

I snorted at that. Somehow, offering to research sexual orientation for a class didn't seem like "easing me" into anything.

I looked up and realized that Bella had led me to the cafeteria. My stomach clenched.

"Bells," I said, stopping in my tracks and making her stop with me. "Can we eat somewhere else today? We can go to the bleachers – it's pretty nice out."

She tugged on my arm, forcing me forward.

"C'mon, Jazz. You have to get used to seeing him. It's the only way you can desensitize yourself and overcome your reaction to him."

_Damn it._ She was right. I hated that.

I let her drag me to a table. However, when I tentatively looked around, I didn't see Edward anywhere. After ten minutes, he still hadn't shown up. I started to worry that something was wrong.

"Where do you think he is?" I asked Bella. She shrugged, chewing a mouthful of pizza.

I opened my mouth to say something else when a big hand clapped down on my shoulder. I looked up, startled, into Emmett's wide grin.

"Hey, guys," he said. "How's it goin'?"

"Great, Emmett. How about you?" Bella answered his grin with one of her own.

"I'm enjoyin' life," he said. He looked around and then leaned in to us conspiratorially. "I've almost got Rosalie agreeing to go out with me. Today's the day, man."

"That's great, Em," I said, my smile finally making an appearance. Nervous as I was, I couldn't resist his affable mood.

Bella gave me a strange look, and then turned back to Emmett.

"Hey, Em," she began, and a pit opened in my stomach as I realized what she was about to do. Before I could stop her, she went on. "Where's your new lunch buddy?"

I kicked her under the table.

"You mean Edward? Oh, he's screwin' around on the piano in the music room. I think he and Mr. Marcus were working on putting together some kind of performance group or something. Hey," he turned to me thoughtfully. "Have you met him yet? He's a great guy – you'd hit it off with him real good."

I scrambled mentally, cursing Bella.

"Uh, well, he's in a bunch of my classes. He seems like a good guy." There. I didn't lie, exactly. I didn't say explicitly that I'd met him, even though I'd implied it. Anyway, he _was_ in my classes and he _did_ seem nice… amazing… completely lickable…

"Cool. Hey, gotta run, Rose is waiting for me in the library." He punched my shoulder. "I can't believe we don't have any classes together this year, Jazz. We gotta hang out, man, I haven't seen you in too long. Not today, I got football after school. But Mike's party is tomorrow night, so I'll definitely see you there, right?"

I nodded, and he grinned at me before walking away with a jaunty wave. I immediately turned on Bella.

"What the hell?" I hissed. "Do you _want_ to out me?"

"Relax." She patted my hand. "Now you know where Edward is, and you won't have to worry about him. That was pretty smooth, by the way, worming your way out of being introduced to him."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, missy," I said, still annoyed. "Knowing Emmett, if I hadn't bent the truth, he might have thrown me over his shoulder and carried me bodily to the music room to meet Edward."

"Last week, you would have given all your worldly possessions for Emmett to throw you over his shoulder," Bella snarked.

That pulled me up short.

"Hey…" I said slowly, "that's weird. I didn't feel anything like what I used to feel when he touched me. No spark at all. Huh," I mused.

Bella just smiled.

When lunch ended, Bella went to her Bio class (where she would see Edward), while I headed off to French. After class, I sidled up to Angela Weber and engaged her in conversation, escorting her to History and leading her to the back of the room. I made sure I sat in the last seat in the row, placing her between me and the rest of the class.

Edward came in a minute later, seemingly flustered. His hair was in greater disarray than I had seen it before, and his hand kept coming up to run through it. His cheeks were flushed, though whether from embarrassment or exertion, I couldn't tell. His eyes darted around the room, and they briefly landed on me. I was watching him out of the corner of my eye, careful not to look directly at him as his gaze flicked from Angela back to me.

_Head down, dick down._

He sat down near the middle of the room just as the bell rang and Mr. Jefferson started class. Angela blocked my view of him quite nicely. Except that I found myself leaning back in my seat so that I could see around her. Each time, I internally scolded myself. But I couldn't seem to make myself stop.

I let my eyes drift over his neck and down his shoulders and back, the defined muscles highlighted by the t-shirt he wore. Without my consent, my mind wandered to the images I'd conjured up yesterday of Edward taking a shower in the locker room…

_Oh, fuck. I'm _such_ an idiot. What am I gonna do about _gym_?_

After history, I hid my increasing agitation and said a pleasant, if hurried, goodbye to Angela. Cutting across the courtyard, I practically flew into English class, where Bella was just sitting down in the back row.

"Oh my god, Bella," I said breathlessly, leaning weakly over her desk. "I forgot all about gym! What the fuck am I gonna do? There's no way I can handle _that_, not after yesterday…"

"Okay, Jazz, calm down." Bella gripped my shoulders tightly before letting her hands slide down my arms in a soothing gesture. "We'll think of something."

I sat, breathing heavily and trying to slow my racing heart as I watched Edward enter the room with Mike and take his seat from yesterday.

As Ms. Mason resumed her discussion of _Beowulf_, a piece of paper slid onto my desk. I glanced over at Bella, who pointed her chin at the page and then looked back down at her notebook. I opened the note under the desk.

_There's nothing to worry about. You will be fine. Coach will have you doing practice drills today. Just keep your distance and concentrate on the football. Physical exertion should help your control._

_You can do this, Jasper._

I scribbled underneath her cramped writing.

_How do you know I won't burst into flame right there in the gym? Or, worse, drool all over myself as soon as I see him in his gym uniform?_

I slipped the paper back onto her desk. She read it and smiled, then wrote underneath my response. I took the page stealthily from her outstretched fingers.

_I have faith in you. You're stronger than you think._

Her words bounced around in my head as I changed for gym. Because his last name came at the beginning of the alphabet and mine came at the end, our lockers were on opposite sides of the locker room. I didn't have to watch him change out of his clothes. I was relieved, but I can't lie – part of me was bitterly disappointed about that.

Bella's advice helped somewhat. The rain had fallen all last night, making the fields too muddy for play, so Coach Clapp had us running up and down the non-badminton half of the gym, taking turns going out for passes. I made sure to keep as far away from Edward as possible, instead focusing on catching the spiraling ball, on the squeaks of sneakers on the waxed gym floor, on the echoes of raised voices that reverberated off the cinderblock walls. When Coach blew the whistle, I sprinted into the locker room and jumped into the shower before any of the other guys got there. I scrubbed and rinsed and got out a minute later, drying off and throwing my clothes on. I kept myself moving, never slowing or stopping to contemplate the fact that the most beautiful person I'd ever seen was probably _naked_ less than twenty feet away from me.

_Aw, shit. I had to think the word "_naked,_" didn't I?_

Yet another dash out the gym door, slightly in advance of the dismissal bell, brought me to my car and driving away from the school at as close to Mach speed as I could manage. By the time I'd made it to my driveway, my ragged breathing and racing pulse had slowed.

_I made it! I got through the day without outing or making a fool of myself!_ I allowed myself a brief fist-pump before getting out of the car and going inside.

In bed that night, I celebrated by stroking myself to thoughts of Edward.

The next morning, I freaked out again at the thought of seeing him second period.

Poor Bella. I wondered if she were getting tired of babying me and talking me down off the proverbial ledge every five minutes. She didn't seem annoyed as she nodded sympathetically in the student parking lot before school. Still, if even _I_ was getting tired of my idiocy by now, she must have been bucking for sainthood.

"You know, Jazzy, maybe you're looking at this the wrong way."

Sighing, I rubbed my hand over my face.

"Enlighten me, please, O Wise, All-Knowing One."

She ignored my snark.

"Think about this from Edward's point of view for a minute. Here he is, in a new school, in a new town, surrounded by all these new faces. He must be kinda lonely and overwhelmed. I sure as hell would be."

I blinked.

"He's just a person, Jazz, not some super-being or idol to be worshiped from afar." Bella glanced up at the threatening sky. "Looks like it's gonna pour any second. Wanna go in?" She slid off the hood of my car and held out her hand to me. I took it absently and followed her into the school building, my thoughts churning.

In her inimitable way, Bella had managed to effect a complete shift in my paradigm with a minimal number of words. I had no idea how she pulled off that shit, but it worked every time, and it always left me reeling at my own stupidity.

I'd noticed his little nervous gestures on the first day of school, and thought about how hard it had been when I was the new kid. But then I'd gotten caught up in my reactions to him, forgetting all about empathizing with his situation. My stomach twisted as I was steamrolled by the realization of my own narrow-mindedness. I'd been so concerned about myself that I hadn't really stopped to consider Edward as a _person_ at all. I could be a real douche.

Sensing the tenor of my thoughts, Bella pulled my head down to her and pecked me on the cheek.

"I know you, Jazz, and I know you're beating yourself up right now," she said into my ear. "Stop it. You've been under a lot of pressure. Give yourself a break, huh?"

I still sat in the back of the room during second-period Trig, but this time, I focused on Edward himself rather than on how he made me feel. He kept his head down as he took notes, running his free hand fretfully through his hair every few minutes. Sympathy and guilt warred with each other in my head.

I continued to observe him throughout the day. He sat with Emmett and Rosalie at lunch, and he stuck close to Mike or Eric in the classes we had together. He didn't seem to talk to anyone else. In fact, he didn't say much to the guys or Rose, either. He was… not exactly withdrawn, but quiet. A few times during the day, our eyes met in brief glances. His seemed to hold a sadness that I hadn't noticed before.

There were moments when I had to fight my instinct to go to him, to put my arm around his shoulder and make him smile. Later, after school, I wasn't sure why I'd fought so hard to stay away from him. All I knew was that something in me wasn't quite ready to walk down this road. I didn't think I could be friends with Edward yet without (a) torturing myself, or (b) revealing myself. Plus, if he found out about my feelings for him and proceeded to hurl in overwhelming disgust, I'd never recover.

Still, I couldn't get him off my mind. As I got ready for the party at Mike's, my thoughts were again consumed by images of Edward. This time, though, the images were different. I recalled his nervous fidgeting in class, his apparent shyness, his lonely eyes. As fantasy overtook reality, there were no slo-mo jumps or torrid shower scenes. Instead, I pictured holding him in my arms, kissing his cheeks, his eyelids, the tip of his nose, his chin. Whispering soft reassurances. Stroking his hair as he leaned into me and buried his face in the crook of my neck.

When I came, it was to the vision of us kissing passionately, bodies intertwined, strong hands caressing one another.

* * *

**A/N continued:** This chapter kicked my ass. The next chapter should lead into events similar to (but not exactly replicating) the one-shot, and I've had a bitch of a time trying to get all my ducks in a row to get there. RL continues to suck various animal genitalia, but I'll try not to whine about it too much. All your reviews, favorites and alerts make me smile, which ain't so easy nowadays, so many, many thanks to all of you. I promise to keep working on this story until it's complete, but I can't make any promises as to the frequency of updates. I vow to do my best – is that okay?


	5. One Step Two Step

**A/N:** Quick like a bunny I am with this chapter. See you again at the bottom.

**WARNING:** This piece of fanfiction is rated M for slash, graphic language, and adult situations. Minors and wusses, click away, please. Also, S. Meyer owns all _Twilight_-related material. Thanks for letting us ride on your see-saw, Mrs. Meyer.

* * *

**Chapter 5: One-Step Two-Step**

_When I came, it was to the vision of us kissing passionately, bodies intertwined, strong hands caressing one another._

*~*~*

I hopped in my car and made it to the Newtons' house at about 9:15. Things were already in full swing. I threaded my way through knots of Solo-cup-wielding teens and made my way downstairs. There was a reason that Mike's basement rec room was a popular hangout. It had a pool table, a huge flat-screen with every game system known to mankind, and – most important – a fully stocked bar that the live-in housekeeper never checked. His parents were never home.

The décor was modern, no typical cast-off basement furnishings in sight. Instead, the large, sleek sectional sofa was a soft, suede-like brown, and the carpet was tan with flecks of burgundy and gold. The walls were burgundy, with creamy white molding along the floor and ceiling to lighten up all the dark color. The bar was long and mahogany and chrome, with bottle-laden mirrored shelves lining the wall behind it. The bright recessed lighting in the ceiling could be dimmed, turning the room into Make-Out Central at the turn of a knob. It was still early in the evening, though – that would come later.

The usual crowd was here tonight. Among the group by the bar, Jessica Stanley was hanging on Mike as usual, her tits pushed into his arm. He ignored her, and would continue to do so until he got wasted enough to forget why he should. I gave it two hours until they disappeared into his bedroom upstairs.

Tyler and Eric were holding court at the Xbox, surrounded by half a dozen or so guys waiting for their turns with the controllers. Angela Weber sat nearby next to Ben "Chess Club" Cheney, lending credence to the gossip that they were an item. He was about half a head shorter than she was, but neither of them seemed bothered by that. I idly wondered how he managed to kiss her, then hoped I wouldn't have to witness it. From the glares he was shooting their way, Eric hoped he wouldn't, either.

I came around the back of the couch, intending to plop my ass down on it, when I pulled up short. Edward was sitting on the floor, eating M&Ms from a crystal bowl on the coffee table, popping them into his mouth one at a time. He chewed and swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing with each gulp.

I stood there, my hand on the back of the couch. _Go. Introduce yourself, ya pussy. Now's your chance_. But I couldn't make my feet move.

"Jazz," Emmett whispered, nudging me in the ribs with his elbow. I jumped. I hadn't heard him come up behind me.

"What?" I prayed he hadn't noticed me gaping at Edward. But Emmett didn't look disturbed or skeeved out. In fact, his eyes were lit up as he gestured with his chin toward the basement stairs.

"She's here," he breathed in my ear. "Told ya. It's my night, man."

I swiveled my head and saw a pair of bright red high-heeled shoes descending the stairs. With her long legs, sultry curves, honey-blond tresses, and wide, sea-blue eyes, Rosalie Hale was the picture of feminine divinity. Even I could appreciate her beauty.

Emmett scampered over to her. I snickered to myself; watching a hulking, six-foot-one linebacker scamper was pretty funny. Rosalie pretended ice-queen indifference, but her eyes followed his every move. Even as she rolled them at whatever lame joke he was telling her now, I could see the sparkle in their azure depths.

Feeling conspicuous just standing there, I forced myself to sit on the edge of the couch. Out of the corner of my eye, I could have sworn I saw Edward's gaze flicker toward me and then away.

I had almost managed to psych myself up enough to open my mouth when Lauren Mallory slunk over and sat cross-legged on the floor next to him. She reached into the bowl of M&Ms, helping herself to a handful. I felt an irrational surge of anger.

_Those are Edward's, you skank._

She spoke to him in a low tone, and he seemed to be listening, his eyes fixed down at his hands, fingers twining and untwining in his lap. Jealousy curled like smoke around me.

"Penny for your thoughts, Jasper?" The couch gave as Bella sank onto it beside me, slinging her arm around my shoulder.

I smiled, instinctively reaching over to push her thick chestnut hair out of her face.

"Don't know if they're worth that much, Bells," I said, spitting out a half-hearted chuckle.

She gave me a knowing look.

"Oh, c'mon, Jazz. You just got here and you're _already_ brooding, ya emo dork?" One side of her generous mouth quirked up.

I jabbed my finger into her ribs, and she squealed.

"Emo, huh?" I pouted. "Hello? Pot, kettle? Ring any '_Bells_'?" I quipped, making air quotes with my fingers. She half-laughed, half-choked as I started tickling her in earnest. She managed to grab my wrist with both hands and push my wriggling fingers away. I relented easily.

"Fine," she teasingly huffed. "See if I ever care about _you_ again."

"Okaaaay," I sighed dramatically, "I'll try to snap out of it."

Lauren gave a braying laugh just then, and I automatically turned my head toward her. She was still sitting with Edward, but her legs were now bent underneath her and to the side, canting her body toward his. He must have said something funny, because her head was thrown back in amusement and her hand was on his bicep. My shoulders stiffened. Bella felt it and turned her head up to look at my face. She said nothing, but took my hand in hers and began rubbing soothing circles on the back with her thumb.

My glare must have been sharper than I thought, because Lauren sensed it. She darted her pale, fishy eyes to me and then away, thinking my hostility was directed at her. Well, it was, but not for the reason she thought. It had nothing to do with Lauren's mouth on my dick, and everything to do with where her _hands_ were right now. One rested on Edward's arm, while the other supported her weight on the floor, too close to Edward's knee for my taste. My traitor imagination taunted me with visions of those hands moving up Edward's arm, over his sculpted shoulder, into his tousled hair…

I didn't realize I was shaking until Bella put her cool palm to my cheek.

Before she could say a word, a low, musical voice addressed us from behind the couch.

"Well, don't you two look cozy?"

Bella jumped.

"Alice!" she cried, whirling around.

"Hi, Bella. Hi, Jazz. It's great to see you guys." Alice was Emmett's older sister. Well, technically, she was his half-sister, as she was a Brandon and he was a McCarty. Their mom had married Emmett's dad when Alice was one, and Emmett was born a year later. To them, that was a minor detail, even though Alice spent a couple of months each year with her father in New York. She and Emmett loved each other fiercely, and argued just as fiercely. Alice had just started her first year as an engineering major at U Dub. She was smart, vivacious, and compassionate. She was also beautiful, petite yet willowy, with raven locks like her brother's and gray-blue eyes.

Bella's face had turned bright red. She clasped Alice to her in a wild hug over the back of the couch.

"It's _so_ great to see you, Ally," she enthused. Alice pulled back gently and gave her a warm smile as she reached to embrace me. I dropped a light kiss on top of her head, exaggerating the distance I had to bend, wordlessly ribbing her about our large height difference. She emitted a playful growl and pretend-punched me in the gut.

"You home for Labor Day?" I asked. Alice nodded.

"Yeah, just drove in this morning. Gotta help my mom clean the pool and the yard for the big shindig Sunday, so I can't stay too late tonight. I just wanted to pop in and say hi to everyone."

"How long are you staying in Forks?" Bella cut in. "Oh! Do you want to hit the sales in PA with me on Monday? I might ask Angela to come, too, if that's okay…"

I stepped back a bit as Bella started talking a mile a minute. I don't know how Alice managed to keep up with her, but she seemed to understand what Bella was saying. Maybe she also understood what Bella was _not_ saying. It seemed crystal clear to me, but knowing how Bella felt about Alice gave me an advantage, of course.

Between the heavy subtext of Bella and Alice's conversation and the magnetic pull of Edward on the floor ten feet away, I felt a sudden need for space. And, surprisingly, alcohol.

"I need a drink. You want anything?" I asked the girls. They shook their heads. Bella gave me a raised eyebrow, but continued jabbering away with Alice. I retreated to the bar, where I poured myself a Solo-cup of JD. I avoided the others mingling and carousing there and leaned my back against the far end of the bar, slowly sipping my drink. The alcohol mellowed on my tongue but burned in my throat. I watched Bella across the room, her hands flying as she talked.

I went to take another sip of my JD and was surprised to find the cup empty. Debating with myself for only a moment, I turned toward the bar and refilled my cup. I'd be here for a while yet, enough time to let the alcohol pass through my system. I'd probably be okay to drive by the time the party ended. If not, well, I'd crash on Mike's couch. _No default DD duty for me tonight._

Someone cleared his throat behind me. I turned and nearly spit out my mouthful of whiskey. It was Edward.

We stared at each other for an infinite moment. This close to him, I could see that his jade eyes were flecked with gold and copper, and fringed by thick, black lashes. I felt myself falling into them, and blinked rapidly to pull myself back from the brink.

"Is that any good?" he asked, indicating the bottle on the bar in front of me. His voice was pure velvet. I nodded, unable to find my own voice.

"You wanna pour me some?"

"Sure," I breathed, my tone huskier than I wanted it to be. I grabbed a clean plastic cup and poured some of the whiskey into it, grateful that my hands didn't shake enough to spill any. I turned back and handed the cup to him. He took it, his fingers brushing mine with a feather-light touch that made my insides tremble.

He took a small sip and made a face.

"God, this stuff'll put hair on your chest, won't it?"

I shrugged, eyeing him while trying not to stare at his mouth.

"You get used to it, I guess," I said.

_Great, Jasper. Way to imply that you're an alcoholic._ The truth was that, ever since that night with James, I drank so seldom that the small amount I'd had tonight was starting to make my head float.

"I'll take your word for it," Edward replied, putting the cup back on the bar. "I don't really drink that much, anyway. It just looked like you were enjoying it, and I wanted to see what I was missing."

_Wait, _what_? He'd noticed what I was drinking. He'd been watching me. Holy hell!_

I squelched the thrill that surged through me, sure I was reading too much into his comment.

"You're Jasper, right?" He walked around the bar to the other side.

"Uh, yeah. And y-you're Edward," I said, stumbling over my words. He grabbed a bottle of water from the mini-fridge under the bar and twisted the top off. His movements were fluid, hypnotic. I watched, mesmerized, as he put the bottle to his lips and took a long swig.

His head was thrown back, his throat exposed to me. I wanted to put my mouth there, to feel his smooth, delicate skin under my lips as they glided up his graceful neck to his strong, square jaw. I felt my eyes narrow and become hooded.

_Snap out of it, loverboy, or you'll end up attacking him right here in front of everyone._ I shuddered at the thought.

"Uh," I started, trying to think of something to say to him. "So, looks like we're in a bunch of classes together this year." _No shit, Sherlock._

"Yeah," he replied easily. "History, English, P.E…." He trailed off for a brief second, swallowing. "Oh, and Trig. They had me in Geometry until I convinced them I'd already taken it at my old school."

_He just glibly rattled off all the classes we had together._ _He's been paying attention. To me, or is he just observant in general?_

"So, you moved here from Chicago?" I asked him, trying to distract myself with normal conversation. I could do this, talk to this gorgeous boy without giving myself away. Although – and maybe it was the JD – I was starting to feel like hiding wasn't worth it anymore.

"Yep," he said. "My dad is a surgeon, and he went from a private practice there to a hospital-based practice out here. He wanted to be able to spend more time with my mom and me, and the hours here are a lot better. My mom's an architect, but she decided to take some time off from work a couple of years ago, and she hasn't made plans to go back yet. I think she likes being a stay-at-home mom more than she'll admit."

"That's cool," I replied. "I guess you guys are pretty close, then."

"Mm-hmm," he said. "They're great. I can tell them anything."

"I wonder what that's like," I muttered under my breath. I hoped he hadn't heard me.

If he had, he gave no sign. He took another sip of his water. I kept my eyes on the bar top.

"What about your family, Jasper? Got any brothers or sisters?"

"Uh, no. It's just my mama and my daddy and me." I winced as the childish names rolled off my tongue, and hurried on. "He's a retired military man, and she's always been a housewife, as far as I know."

"Wow, military, huh? What branch?"

"Marines. He's a tough sumbitch." I snorted.

"I'll bet," said Edward, his lips curving into a slightly lopsided grin. God, he was sexy.

I took another gulp of my drink. I could feel the alcohol affecting me more strongly.

"Have you lived in Forks all your life?" Edward asked.

"No, actually. We moved from Texas when I was nine. I'm a good ol' southern boy," I said, briefly trotting out my Texas drawl, then chuckling.

Edward laughed with me.

"Your parents still have the accent, then?"

"Yessir," I replied. "All the Forks kids used to make fun of the way I talked in junior high, so I lost mine pretty quick. It still comes out sometimes, though, when I'm excited or hyped up."

Edward smiled, his eyes twinkling.

"I'd like to hear that," he said glancing downward, suddenly shy.

_Holy shit!_ Was he flirting with me? It sure as hell seemed that way. I really needed to stop drinking now – it was messing with my perception. I put my half-empty cup down on the bar next to his.

Someone put a hand on my shoulder, startling me.

"Hey, Jazz," said Bella, "I'm gonna take off." Her cheeks flushed. "Uh, Alice invited-me-out-for-coffee-so-we're-gonna-go. Okay, see you later." She turned to go, but I caught her arm and smiled into her widened eyes.

"Have fun, Bells," I said with a wink. She flushed even darker, but winked at me in return before giving Edward a friendly nod and moving to join Alice by the stairs. They both waved at me before heading up together.

My heart swelled for Bella. It was about time she reached out and grabbed some happiness for herself.

_Ring any bells, dumbass?_

I coughed, cursing my internal monologue, and turned back to Edward. He was looking at me with an amused expression.

"What?" I asked.

He shook his head.

"Nothing. Never mind." He drank the last of his water and tossed the empty bottle into the nearby trashcan. Then he took a deep breath.

"It's just – well, it's nice to see people happy, is all," he said.

I eyed him a bit warily.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," he sighed, "it's obvious that Bella was really stoked about being with Alice. They must be good friends. I'm sure they miss each other while Alice is at school."

"Sure." I shrugged. "I mean, even though Alice is two years older, we've all known each other for, like, forever. Bella and Alice are like my sisters. Emmett's a brother to me. A loud, annoying, obnoxious brother, but a brother all the same."

Edward laughed.

"Yeah, I can see that." His shoulders shook with mirth.

"So," I said, when his laughter had subsided, "you've been hanging out with Emmett? You seem to know him pretty well."

"Yeah, he's a good guy, underneath the dumb jock exterior." Edward pulled out that dazzling crooked smile again.

"I moved in just down the street from him and Alice," he continued. "Met him my first day here, when he showed up in my yard, tossed a Nerf football at my head, and said, 'You the new loser in town?'"

I returned his grin.

"Yeah, that sounds like Emmett, alright."

"He's the only real friend I've made so far. I mean, the other guys are nice enough, but Emmett's the only one who's made any effort to get to know me."

I immediately felt guilty. He sounded so lonely. I cursed myself once again for being such a self-centered douche.

"Well, the ladies seem to like you just fine," I said, wanting to take away the sadness that had invaded his expression. "Lauren Mallory sure looked like she wanted to get to know you." I smirked, but I could tell it didn't reach my eyes.

Edward sighed.

"She's not… she's just an acquaintance. We're in Spanish class together."

We stood in silence for a moment. I shifted my weight between my feet, trying to think of something non-lame to say, while also trying to avoid drowning in the liquid depths his eyes.

_Yeah, I got nothin'._

"You and Bella are pretty close, huh?" Edward finally said. I nodded, and he went on. "I could've sworn you were together… you know, like, a couple."

I nodded again, feeling heat rise in my cheeks.

"A lot of people think that. But we're just really good friends."

"Yeah, I know that now. Emmett kind of explained the deal with you two, about that guy who attacked her, and how you pulled him off of her and all. That was a good thing you did." He kept his gaze on his fingers, which were drawing abstract shapes on the bar top.

"Um, thanks." I didn't know what else to say.

"Yeah, so…" Edward's voice faded, and he cleared his throat. "So, when Emmett told me about you, I told him you seemed like a really cool person, and someone I'd like to know. H-he said I should talk to you." His face turned pink, and his jewel-toned eyes flashed up to mine for an instant before he looked down again.

_Huh, wha…?_

I glanced up and saw Emmett on the couch with Rosalie tucked under his arm. He was looking right at me, and when our eyes met, he smiled and winked at me.

_Okay, am I in the Twilight Zone? What the _fuck _is going on here?_

Emmett told Edward to talk to me? Edward wanted to get to know me? I felt like my subconscious had been busy putting a puzzle together, and even though my conscious mind was becoming aware of the big picture, I was still missing a crucial piece or two.

I turned back to Edward, who kept his chin down but was looking up at me through his long lashes. The heat in his eyes made my dick actually twitch in my pants.

My head was spinning. I must have had more to drink than I'd realized. Edward leaned forward over the bar and put his hand on my shoulder. I felt the warmth of it through my shirt.

"Hey, Jasper, you wanna get out of here? Maybe go somewhere and talk?"

My mouth was dry, my tongue like cotton. I couldn't swallow. I couldn't speak.

I nodded.

* * *

**A/N Continued:** Why is it that, when RL sucks, we're the ones who have to swallow? Anyway, I wanted to make up for the months between chapters three and four, so I got this one done right away. You know what's coming next. Well, actually, you don't, because it's different from the o/s, but you have the basic idea. Good news is that it's almost completely written, so it should be posted very soon. Your reviews, etc. absolutely make my day. Thanks for all your caring comments. Twific readers are amazing, wonderful people.


	6. Private Party

**A/N:** What we've been waiting for. See you again at the bottom.

**WARNING:** This piece of fanfiction is rated M for slash, graphic language, and adult situations. Minors and wusses, click away, please. Also, S. Meyer owns all _Twilight_-related material. Thanks for letting us ride your half-pipe, Mrs. Meyer.

* * *

**Chapter 6: Private Party**

"_Hey, Jasper, you wanna get out of here? Maybe go somewhere and talk?"_

_My mouth was dry, my tongue like cotton. I couldn't swallow. I couldn't speak._

_I nodded._

*~*~*

The smile that lit up Edward's face was beautiful to behold. I couldn't help but grin back through my whiskey-induced buzz.

We made our way toward the stairs. I didn't bother saying goodnight to anyone, but I did catch Emmett's eye once more and nod to him. He winked at me again, tilting his head to indicate Rosalie sitting next to him. I flashed him a small grin, silently wishing him luck.

I followed Edward up the stairs, finding my eyes glued to the back of his snug jeans. The movement of his ass and thigh muscles under the denim fascinated me. I shook my head a little to clear my fuzzy brain before it made me do something stupid, like reach out and _squeeze_.

We walked through the foyer to the front door, which I held open for him like the gentleman my mama'd raised. He smiled shyly at me as he went through onto the porch. I followed him out into the unusually warm but still damp night air, and he waited for me so that we took the stairs down to the walkway together. With our matching long legs, we fell naturally into step with one another.

"Did you drive here?" he asked. When I nodded, he blurted out, "I'm not sure you're okay to drive. I mean, not that you're drunk or anything, just that you had two cups of that whiskey and if anything happened…" My chuckle stopped his nervous rambling.

"It's alright, Edward. You're right. I probably shouldn't get behind the wheel." I pulled my keys from my pocket and held them out to him. "You wanna be DD for me?"

He took the keys from me, and I shivered visibly when our fingers made contact. Embarrassed by my reaction, I dropped my head to look at the pavement, my hair flopping down over my eyes.

"You know," he said, "we could just walk to my house. It's really not that far from here. And my folks are back in Chicago, tying up some loose ends from our move, so we'll have some privacy." He blushed. "To talk, I mean. If you want."

I peered up at him through my hair. His expression was so hopeful, my chest tightened in sympathy. I didn't know if he wanted a friend or… well, _more_ than a friend, but the vulnerable look on his face made me want to be whatever he needed.

"Okay," I whispered. That megawatt grin lit up his face again, and he started walking. I fell into step beside him once more.

We didn't speak for a couple of blocks. I kept giving him sidelong glances. A couple of times, I caught him glancing at me, too. Our arms brushed every so often as we walked. I shivered each time, feeling invisible sparks sizzle on my skin.

"Have you picked your _Beowulf_ essay topic for Mason's class yet?" he finally asked.

"Yeah," I said, grateful for the distraction, "I was thinking about the redeeming qualities of the monsters."

"Cool," he said. "Uh, _are_ there any?"

Conversation flowed more easily after that, moving from classes and school gossip to what we'd done over the summer. He seemed impressed when I told him about my Habitat for Humanity internship.

"That's amazing, Jasper. I've never known anyone who did anything like that. You gave up your whole vacation to help people." His voice dropped to an almost-whisper. "I really admire you. Uh, for that. For being so selfless, I mean."

Guilt touched me at his words. If only he knew how self-centered I'd been when it came to him the past few days.

Eventually, after we'd walked a mile or so, Edward pointed to a large home just past the next cross-street.

"That's my place. At least, I think it is. I _am_ new around here," he joked. I smiled.

"I guess we'll find out when we get there and your key fits in the door."

He laughed.

"If not, we can always break in. I'm sure the owner won't mind two slightly buzzed teenagers crashing on their living room floor."

"Well," I said, "_one_ slightly buzzed teenager, and one remarkably sober and responsible one. Except for the whole breaking-and-entering thing."

He laughed again, playfully closing the distance between us and bumping me with his shoulder. _Sizzle._ I caught a whiff from him of something incredibly delicious – like honey and the ocean combined, sweet and clean with a salty tang. Feeling bold, I bumped him back. I surreptitiously inhaled, smelling that scent again.

We walked up to his alleged front door and mock-cheered when his key turned easily in the lock.

I was amazed at how comfortable I felt with him now. At the same time, I could hardly believe I was actually here with him, face to face. He was incredible. Smart, funny, modest. Not to mention stunningly beautiful. God, I could stare at him forever.

I shook myself out of the daze descending on me, realizing that he'd asked me a question.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I– uh– said you could just crash here tonight, if you want. I have some clothes you can sleep in, and I think my mom has an extra toothbrush somewhere. I've got a pull-out couch in my room. I'll take that, and you can take the bed."

"No," I said immediately. His face fell. "I mean, yes, I'd like to crash here, 'cause I'm too buzzed to face my parents. But you sleep in your bed. I'll take the couch."

His expression lightened.

"Well, we can argue about that later," he said with a small smile. "C'mon, my room's upstairs. Let's get changed so we can be more comfortable."

"Just a sec. Let me call home and tell my parents I'm staying over." I pulled out my phone and hit the speed dial. Mama answered on the second ring.

"Hello?" She sounded groggy.

"Mama, it's me. I just wanted you to know I'm staying at a friend's house tonight, so don't wait up for me."

"Okay, sugar. Whose house is it?"

"Uh, it's that new boy at school. Edward Cullen?"

"Oh, yes, the doctor's son. Alright, angel. Don't stay up too late. I'll see you tomorrow."

"G'night, Mama." I ended the call and turned back to Edward, who looked amused again. He didn't speak, but beckoned me to follow him.

I felt my jaw drop as he led me through his enormous house. Newton's was similar in size, but while Mike's parents had nice furniture and things, Edward's looked like something out of a magazine. On the way to the stairs, we passed through a large, elegant, but still unfinished great room. Boxes lined one wall, waiting to be emptied. Once upstairs, he pointed out two guest rooms, each with its own bathroom, and gestured toward his parents' room at the end of the hall. He stopped at a fourth door and pushed it open.

"This is my room," he explained, flipping on the light and waving me inside.

The room was big, with a queen-size bed and a navy blue sofa. A cherry wood desk and matching chest of drawers sat along one wall. Sleek shelves housed a state-of-the-art sound system and a large collection of CDs. A Macbook Pro sat on the desk, and a flat-screen TV was mounted above it, facing the bed. Two doors on another wall led to a bathroom and a walk-in closet, respectively. The colors of the walls and carpeting were soft, muted blues and grays.

I whistled in appreciation.

"Nice digs you got here, man."

Edward blushed. It made me want to hug him, he was so adorable.

"Glad you like it," he said. "Let me find you something to wear." He rummaged in his bureau for a moment, producing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of navy flannel pajama pants. "Will these work?"

"Yeah, that's great." I told him, taking the clothes from him. "Thanks."

"No sweat. You wanna use the bathroom first? I'll go find you a toothbrush."

I nodded and went into the bathroom. I stripped out of my jeans and shirt, and pulled the flannel pants on over my boxers. I was about to put on Edward's shirt when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror over the sink. I just stared at myself for a long moment. My eyes were red-rimmed from the whiskey, and my hair was all over the place. But my cheeks were flushed, and I looked kinda… _happy_.

_Oh, god, I'm in _Edward's bathroom_! If this is a dream, please let me stay asleep!_

My impromptu prayer was interrupted by a quiet knock on the door. I opened it, and Edward handed me a pink toothbrush.

"Sorry, it's the only new one we had in the house," he said, a sheepish look on his adorable face.

"S'okay," I said, grinning. "I'm a real man. I can use a pink toothbrush."

Edward blinked, his face reddening.

"Uh, w-well," he stammered, "I'll let you finish getting ready." He backed out of the room, closing the door behind him.

_What was that about?_

I brushed my teeth and emptied my bladder. After washing my hands and splashing my face with cold water, I put on the shirt and went back into Edward's room. He was standing by the bed, his back to me.

"Your turn," I said, and he jumped. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you."

"No, it's okay," he said. "I just didn't hear the door open. I'll only be a minute." He disappeared into the bathroom.

I stood still for a bit, just taking in my surroundings. There was that delicious Edward-scent permeating the room — honey and the ocean. I inhaled, enjoying the clean smell. I was still breathing it in when Edward emerged from the bathroom. He was dressed like I was, except his shirt was green. The color brought out his eyes, making them appear to glow.

"Hey, should I put on some music? Or did you just want to go to sleep?"

I shook my head.

"No, not sleepy yet. Music would be good." I sat down on one side of the sofa, stretching my legs out on the floor in front of me. Meanwhile, Edward crossed to the sound system and turned it on. A soulful female voice floated into the room.

"Eva Cassidy," I said, "good choice."

"You know her?"

"Yeah." I looked down at my feet. "Her stuff really calms me down when I'm stressed out and all."

"Yeah," Edward said softly. "Me, too. Her death was so sad."

I nodded, glancing up at him. He was watching me. I squirmed a little, and he dropped his eyes. I looked back at my feet, unsure of what to say.

"I'm really glad you decided to stay," he said after a minute.

I glanced up. He wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Yeah, me, too," I said. "I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself to you before tonight." Apologizing was the least I could do.

"Why would you?" he asked. "It's not like you…"

When he didn't continue, I cocked my head.

"What?"

"Nothing," he said, sighing heavily. "It's just— you're a little… intimidating."

My eyes widened.

"Intimidating? _Me?_" _What on earth was he talking about?_

"Yeah, you. I mean, you're this amazing guy who goes around saving girls from being raped and building homes for hurricane victims in his spare time. Intimidating."

I gaped at him.

"I—I—you don't—I mean, uh…"

I shut my eyes, mortified that this beautiful, wonderful boy could see me like that.

I felt the sofa dip as he sat on the other side of it. My eyes cracked open, watching him sideways as he pulled his feet up to sit cross-legged, facing me. He pulled in a breath and let it out in a huff.

"Okay," he said, "so, I want to say something to you, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything. So please tell me if I do."

I turned my head toward him, letting my eyes drift up to meet his. His face flamed, but his expression seemed determined. I swallowed and nodded for him to go on.

"I saw you on the first day of school, before I knew anything about you, and I really wanted to go up and talk to you, but I was too shy."

I opened my mouth, not sure what would come out, but he stopped me.

"Wait, just… let me get this out, okay?"

I bobbed my head once more, wordlessly conceding.

"I was pissed at myself for chickening out. I saw Emmett at lunch, and he could tell something was bothering me. He asked me what had crawled up my ass and said I probably just needed to get laid."

A small chuckle escaped me at that. Good ol' Emmett.

"I told him he was probably right, and that someone actually had caught my eye," Edward went on. A bubble of tension began forming in my stomach.

"He asked me what her name was." Edward leaned forward, and I gulped. He continued in a soft but intense voice.

"I said, 'I don't know _his_ name, but he's tall, blond, and beautiful.'"

I stopped breathing. The tension bubble in my belly threatened to burst.

_He thinks I'm beautiful! Holy fuck! Wait, he told Emmett…_

"Emmett was kind of surprised at first that I was gay, but he got over it pretty fast and told me to point out my mystery guy to him, saying he'd give me the lowdown. When he found out it was you, he laughed and said, 'Perfect!'"

My tension bubble exploded.

"He said what?!" I was pretty sure only dogs could hear that last word out of my mouth.

"Is this making you uncomfortable?" Edward asked, his brow furrowing.

_Hells, yeah!_

"No," I mumbled. "I'm just really surprised, is all. I mean, Emmett never…"

"Yeah, he said you weren't exactly open about your orientation. Then he said that you were his boy and he had your back. He— he really wants you to be happy."

I mulled that over. I guess I hadn't been as opaque as I'd thought. I had misjudged Emmett, too. Shit, I'd known him half my life, and he'd always been there for me… in his own Emmett-ish way. My attraction to him had blinded me to the fact that he was an amazing friend. Yet another item on the long list of evidence that I was a self-centered douche.

_Wait. _My sluggish brain finally caught up. _Edward just told me he's gay. He called me beautiful. Does that mean…?_

Edward had sat watching the play of emotions on my face as my brain assimilated everything that I'd just had thrown at me. Now I offered him a tentative smile, and he returned one just as shy.

"So," I whispered. "Now what?"

Edward bit his lip.

"Umm," he said, leaning even closer to me. "I'd really like to kiss you. Would that be okay?"

My breath caught. I was drowning in his eyes as they drew nearer to me.

"Jazz?" he prompted, when I didn't answer.

"Hmm?"

"Can I kiss you?" he breathed.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't ever need to ask me that again." With that, I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips to his.

His touch was electric, the current surging through my whole body. His hands came up to my face as mine wrapped around his sculpted biceps. He returned my kiss with gentle fervor, parting his lips and taking my lower lip in-between his soft, full ones. I couldn't help the moan that rose up in my chest. Our lips came apart and then together again, repeatedly. After a minute, Edward pulled his mouth away from mine, only to pepper my jaw and chin with baby kisses. It was the hottest thing I'd ever experienced.

That thought pulled me up short. _Of course_ it was the hottest thing I'd ever experienced. I'd experienced almost nothing. My only other kiss was with Sluttica Stanley in ninth grade, and it had been unsatisfying, to say the least. The only person to perform any sexual act with me — other than myself — was Lauren Mallory, and I was just thankful that I'd been too wasted to remember it.

I was suddenly a bundle of nerves. I didn't know what to do, and I was terrified that Edward would be disappointed with my lack of experience. Would he ever want to be with me again?

I put my hands on his chest and carefully pushed him away. He looked at me, confused, and then lowered his hands, dropping his gaze down and away from me.

"No, Edward!" I blew out a frustrated breath. "It's not you, believe me. I want this. You're amazing, and gorgeous, and I just— I have no idea what I'm doing, and I'm scared."

His expression softened.

"Jazz, I promise, we'll go at your pace. I'm really not all that experienced either. We can do this together. The last thing I want to do is scare you. I just— I really like you. A lot. I just want to be with you, get to know you. Okay?"

I sighed, grateful that he understood.

"That would be great, Edward. I— I really like you, too. A lot. And I'd love to spend time with you."

He took my hand and squeezed it lightly in acknowledgment. A mischievous spark appeared in his jade eyes.

"So you think I'm gorgeous, huh?" he said, smirking at me.

"Well, yeah." I rolled my eyes. "I mean, have you seen yourself? Your hair, your eyes, your… everything. God." I knew my cheeks were red once again, but I looked him in the eye, anyway. "You are seriously hot."

He snickered.

"What?" I retorted. "You said you thought I was beautiful!"

His grin widened.

"Well, you are," he stated. "Those sexy, dark-blond curls, that angelic face, that _body_." I flushed at his assessment of me. "When I saw you in the bathroom before with your shirt off, I nearly— well, let's just say it _really_ turned me on."

"Really?" I sounded like a girl, but I couldn't help it. It was dizzying to hear him talk about me like this.

"And your eyes, Jazz," he sighed. "I've never seen eyes that color before. They're _gold_. They match your hair almost exactly. It's incredible." He took my face between his hands. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

I swooned. That's the only word for it. I felt like an idiot, but a _happy_ idiot.

"Jazz?" he said, leaning toward me again. "Did you mean it before, when you said I never had to ask to kiss you?"

_Fuck, yeah._

"Yes— " Before I could get the word completely out of my mouth, Edward was on me, his lips pressing urgently to mine. This kiss was rougher than the last, needier, more demanding. Edward's hands ran down my neck to my shoulders, and he pulled me tightly into his muscled chest. I was breathless. The only word running through my dazzled brain was _more_…

My hands slid up and down his back over his t-shirt. I wanted desperately to touch him, skin on skin, and I tried to work up the courage to slip my hands under his shirt. I dipped my fingers down to the hem, playing with it for a moment, giving him a chance to stop me. When he didn't, I pushed my fingers up underneath the thin cotton, placing them like feathers on his lower back and caressing him. He was smooth and warm under my hands, and I felt the vibration of his chest against me as he groaned into my mouth.

Emboldened, I moved my hands higher on his back, slowly pushing his shirt up as I went. I was startled when he broke our kiss to pull the tee off entirely, immediately bringing his mouth back to mine. I pushed him back.

"Wait, wait," I panted. "I want to see you." He sat back a little, breathing as hard as I was, granting me access to him as his gaze raked over me in turn.

My eyes drank him in. The planes of his chest, the dips of well-formed muscle in his abdomen, his lean, strong shoulders and arms left me in awe and wonder at his beauty. I reached out a tentative hand to stroke the skin of his pecs, and his eyes rolled back at my touch, a soft keening sound coming from his throat.

"Edward, so beautiful…"

"Jazz, let me see you. I need to see you, too."

At his words, I pulled my shirt off and flung it to the floor. In that moment, I needed his hands on me more than I needed air. I immediately felt his fingers tracing my pectoral muscles, circling my nipples and making them pucker. I groaned at the sensations.

Edward leaned in and placed his lips on my chest. He dragged them slowly over to my nipple, taking it in his mouth and teasing it with his tongue. My head fell back, and I leaned against the arm of the couch. His body moved with mine. I felt his teeth close over my nipple then, and I let out a growl.

He paused, hovering over me, looking at me with hooded eyes. In that instant, a wall came down inside of me.

"God, do that again," he rasped. He bit down on my nipple once more, and a second growl erupted from deep in my chest. His eyes fluttered at the sound.

"You are the sexiest thing _ever_," he growled back at me. My cock jumped again, and his eyes flicked to the movement in my flannel-covered groin.

Slowly, tortuously, his hand crept down the front of my body until it came to rest on the waistband of my pants. I watched in fascination, my fear gone. I was throbbing and hard as steel.

"Jazz, is this too much?" he said softly. "Maybe we should slow things down…"

I gripped his arm. I'd been swept away, too far to turn back.

"Don't stop."

"Do you want me to touch you?"

"Oh, god, yes…" I whimpered. I literally ached for his touch.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his fingers playing with the elastic on my pants. His tone was teasing now, and I knew he was enjoying my reaction. I groaned.

"Please, Edward. Please touch me."

Edward responded to my pleading with a groan of his own. He finally moved his hand, grazing my length through the fabric of the pajamas. It was almost more than I could take. I grunted, willing myself to hold off. _Lauren Mallory, Lauren Mallory, Lauren Mallory…_

He continued stroking me with near-weightless, gossamer touches. Then, without warning, he squeezed me hard.

"Ungh!" I gave one involuntary thrust of my hips and came violently inside my boxers.

_Shit, shit, SHIT!_

"Shh, baby, it's okay," Edward murmured, stroking my thigh as I hung my head, mortified.

"I'm sorry…"

"Really, it's okay," Edward repeated. "I'm so worked up right now, as soon as you touch me, I'll probably shoot my load, too."

I giggled like a little girl at that, adding to my already considerable embarrassment.

"Stay right there," he said softly. He rose and strode into the bathroom, and I laid my head back against the couch, closing my eyes.

_Edward touched me and made me come!_ Mortification and elation warred with each other in my chest. My come was cooling, and it felt gross and sticky in my pants, but there was no way I could move just yet to clean myself up.

I heard water running, and Edward returned a moment later with a damp washcloth.

"Jazz," he said, "will you let me clean you off? That can't be comfortable." He gestured to my crotch, which — incredibly — twitched in response. I nodded, not sure my voice was actually functional at that moment.

He took my hand and helped me stand up. Then he knelt down in front of me. He looked up at me for a few seconds, searching my face. I don't know what he saw, but after a moment, he carefully slid my pants and boxers down off my hips and to the floor, helping me step out of them.

I watched him, in a trance, as my body was fully revealed to him.

He reverently cleaned me off with the washcloth, and then dropped it on the floor and sat back on his heels to stare at me. My dick was growing again in response to his careful rubbing and wiping. He wet his lips.

"God, Jazz. You're perfect."

"Now you," I whispered, blushing at his words. He rose and slipped the rest of his clothing down to the floor, stepping out of it with urgent grace.

All I could do was stare.

_I'm naked with Edward, I'm naked with Edward, I'm naked with Edward…_

I had seen other guys' penises before. It was hard to avoid them in the boys' room or the locker room. Plus, I'd watched my fair share of internet porn. This was different. Edward's cock was long, thick, and standing up proudly. His head was purple with need, his shaft pulsing visibly. It was beautiful. And it was _right here in front of me_.

We stood there for a moment, taking each other in. I lost myself in the surreal intensity. Finally, Edward's blazing eyes met mine.

He took hold of me by the shoulders and gently backed me into the bed. I scooted onto it on my back, and he fell on top of me, supporting his weight with his arms on either side of me. His lips attacked my throat, and his tongue and teeth soon followed. His knees coaxed my legs apart.

"Jazz, tell me to stop, and I will."

Caught up in his heat and in the sensations he was giving me, I let my hands shamelessly explore his spine, his hips, his ass, pulling him into me. Sounds rose out of me, incoherent noises more animal than human. He sucked hard on the skin where my neck and shoulder met, and I whimpered. That spurred him on, and he sucked even harder, sinking his teeth in a little bit, marking me. The fleeting pain merged unexpectedly and exquisitely with the pleasure.

"Do you want to stop, baby?" he growled in my ear.

I was heaving, panting… _gone_.

"Don't stop… Edward, don't stop."

His hips began thrusting in earnest against mine, our cocks creating tectonic-level friction against each other. He pinned me beneath him, letting his weight rest on me. Harder and impossibly harder he ground into me, and my body responded helplessly in kind, my hips rolling up to meet his thrusts. The feeling of our erections rocking and straining against one another left me desperate to find release, and just as desperate never to let it end. I felt myself building toward a towering climax, so high that I was almost afraid to go over the edge. Regardless, I was flung into space when Edward cried out to me.

"Jazz, baby, come! Come with me, _now_!"

"Edwaaaard!" My voice was hoarse, but it filled the room as we both came, spurt after spurt streaming over our bellies. I clung to him, shaking, my orgasm so intense it was nearly painful.

Gradually, the intensity subsided, and I panted into his neck, utterly spent. I felt his rapid breaths on my shoulder and his comforting weight as his chest moved in and out against mine. I didn't ever want to move, but Edward soon rolled off me. He smiled when I whimpered in protest. His hand stroked my cheek.

"I just want to clean us up so we can get into bed."

He grabbed the washcloth from the floor and took it into the bathroom to rinse and re-wet it. When he came back, he'd already wiped himself off, and he cleaned me again with the same tenderness he'd shown the first time. He gathered all our clothes and threw them, along with the washcloth, into a hamper in his closet. After shutting off the sound system, he came back over to me.

My body was lethargic after coming so hard twice in a row. I whined when Edward pulled me up to stand so he could turn down the bed, and I fell bonelessly back into the cool sheets when he was done. He climbed in on the other side of the bed and snuggled up against me, naked chest to naked chest, pulling the top sheet and blanket over us. Our legs intertwined, and our arms came up to wrap around one another. His breath blew softly into my face, smelling of honey and the sea, with a hint of minty toothpaste. I closed my eyes in bliss.

"Jasper?" he said into the quiet room.

"Hmm?"

"Are you still awake?"

"Hmm." I smiled despite my exhaustion.

"Did you like that, baby?

"Yeah. Amazing."

"For me, too." He snickered at my sluggishness.

After a moment's silence, he spoke again.

"Jazz?"

"Hmm?"

"Was that… did we go too fast? I mean, we kinda skipped a couple of steps there, and with you not being all that experienced... I didn't push you too far, did I?" He sounded nervous all of a sudden.

"No," I said, rousing a little, wanting to reassure him. "You didn't push too far. You asked if I wanted to stop. I wanted to keep going."

"Really?"

I opened one eye and raised a brow at him.

"Are you kidding?" I snorted, and he chuckled.

He was quiet again for a minute. I started drifting off, but was brought back by his voice.

"What did you like best about it?"

I half-pursed my lips in pretend thought.

"Coming. Definitely."

He laughed loudly.

"Besides that, ya doofus."

I thought for real this time, fighting my desire to sleep.

"Like it when you call me 'baby,'" I said, nuzzling his neck. "Love it when you say my name. Love how you take care of me, and how you… _look_ at me. Like I'm special or something."

"I want to take care of you, Jazz," he murmured. "And you are special. You're beautiful."

"You said that before," I teased.

"Well, it's true. You _are_ beautiful, inside and out."

"You, too, Edward. Can't believe I got so lucky." I started to drift again, losing my grip on the conversation.

"I'm the lucky one, baby," he breathed, bringing his hand up to my cheek and caressing it with his thumb. "Go to sleep, now, Jazz. I'll see you in the morning."

"'Kay." I snuggled closer into his warm, strong body, letting sleep take me down.

* * *

**A/N continued:** Well, there you have it. We're caught up to the original one-shot, now, but with some differences. Next chapter will probably answer some of the questions raised by o/s reviewers (*cough*Emmett*cough*). The warm-heartedness of my readers and reviewers leaves me in awe. I know I am total reply-fail, but thank you all so much for your words of encouragement, and for making me laugh. You are all beautiful.


	7. Word and Deed

**A/N:** Buckle up. See you again at the bottom.

**WARNING:** This piece of fanfiction is rated M for slash, graphic language, and adult situations. Minors and wusses, click away, please. Also, S. Meyer owns all _Twilight_-related material. Thanks for letting us saddle up your pony, Mrs. Meyer.

* * *

**Chapter 7: Word and Deed**

_"I'm the lucky one, baby," Edward breathed, bringing his hand up to my cheek and caressing it with his thumb. "Go to sleep, now, Jazz. I'll see you in the morning."_

_"'Kay." I snuggled closer into his warm, strong body, letting sleep take me down._

*~*~*

Warm.

Tickle. On my neck. Drifting down to my shoulder.

Tingle. Moving in gentle ripples up my back.

Caress. Slow circles smoothing over my chest, my stomach.

"Ja-azz." Whisper. Flutter of air against my ear, my cheek.

My heavy eyelids lifted. My lips automatically curved into a smile.

Edward's gorgeous mouth hovered inches away, pulled into a dazzling crooked smile of its own.

"Hi," I whispered back to him. His eyes shimmered in the morning light slanting through the window blinds.

"Hi," he returned. "Sorry I woke you."

My grin stretched even more.

"No, you're not."

His grin matched mine.

"No, I'm not." He brought his forehead down to meet mine. "It's almost nine. I've been up for a while, watching you sleep, and I couldn't take it any more."

His face in such close proximity to mine brought to my attention three things. One, I was naked and hard under the cool sheet that covered me. Two, I desperately needed to brush my teeth before I scared him away. Three, I needed to piss even more than I needed to brush my teeth.

I rolled away from him, sliding out of the bed and thumping my feet to the floor.

"Sorry, need a minute," I said sheepishly, looking at him over my shoulder. "Can we pick this up when I get back?"

He gave a short laugh, waving me toward the bathroom. I kept my back to him as I crossed the room and closed the door behind me. I stood in front of the toilet, ruefully looking down at my morning wood.

"Well, at least _you're_ not shy," I told it.

Without sparing myself more than a glance in the mirror, I did what I had to do, scrubbing my tongue almost raw with the pink toothbrush. I grabbed a towel to wrap around my waist before heading back into Edward's bedroom.

He lay naked on the bed, eyes closed, the sheet draped over his lower half and his arms behind the pillow under his head. I let my eyes roam over him, luxuriating in his unselfconscious beauty. He opened his eyes and turned his head to watch me.

"Feel better now?" he asked.

I nodded, grinning. He patted the bed next to him, and I took a running leap onto it. Bouncing lightly, I moved over to put my head on his chest. His arm came around me, holding me close to him. I sighed.

"Is this real?" I heard him whisper into my disheveled curls.

I propped myself up on my elbows.

"I think so," I whispered back. He smiled and put his hand to my cheek.

"I _hope_ so," he breathed, his thumb moving softly over my mouth.

The look on his face made my heart speed up. Leaning toward him, I pressed my lips to his. His hands came up to hold my head in place as he deepened the kiss, his tongue brushing my lower lip. I opened my mouth and let my tongue meet his, relieved that I'd brushed my teeth first. He had, too, apparently – he tasted minty fresh.

Heat flowed from my mouth down my spine and into my groin. I moaned into his mouth, and he returned it, his voice rumbling in his chest. We eventually pulled back to breathe, and his gaze fell to my shoulder.

"Oh, Jazz!" His eyes widened in horror, as his fingers tentatively touched the spot where my neck and shoulder joined. "I'm so sorry."

"What?" I tried to see what had him so upset, craning my neck back at an awkward angle.

"I hurt you. Oh, god, baby, I'm so sorry. I can't believe I was such an asshole…"

"Wait, wait, wait," I stopped him, shaking my head. "What are you talking about, Edward?"

"This," he said heavily, brushing that spot again. "When I bit you last night, I gave you a humongous bruise right here. God, I'm so sorry, baby…"

I put my hand over his mouth.

"Shh. Stop. It doesn't hurt at all."

"Well, but it was still an asshole move," he said through my fingers.

"Wait right there, baby," I said, getting off the bed again and tucking my towel more securely around my waist. I walked over to his closet and opened the door to reveal the full-length mirror on the other side. I bit my lip as I finally saw the large purple mark at the base my neck.

Edward came up behind me, the bed sheet wrapped around his shoulders. He hesitantly laid a hand on my arm. Our eyes met in the mirror.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked, a quaver in his voice.

"No." I reddened a bit and dropped my gaze. He drew in a breath.

"What is it, Jazz?"

"I—" I made myself look at his reflected face, my cheeks darkening. "I like it."

His expression turned incredulous. For a moment, neither of us said anything.

"You… _like_ it?" he whispered finally.

"Yeah." My blush didn't seem like it would disappear anytime soon, at the rate this conversation was going. I pushed forward, trying to ignore it. "It makes what happened last night seem… real, I guess. It kinda proves that you really wanted me. I like knowing that."

"Don't ever doubt that I want you, Jasper." Edward pressed his body against my back, and I felt the heat through both his sheet and the towel at my waist. He wound his arms around me, burying his face in the nape of my neck. I turned in his embrace to face him. My towel fell to the floor, but I didn't care anymore. I needed to feel every line of Edward's body against mine.

He unwrapped the sheet from around himself and rearranged it so that it enclosed both of us. His skin burned against mine. He caressed my back slowly, his hands gliding up and down in an unhurried but still urgent way. I pulled him as close to me as I could. Our semi-erections touched, making me thrust my hips into him. I felt myself lengthening as his hardness grew against my thigh.

Abruptly, Edward stepped away, separating us by an inch or two.

"Jasper," he started, his chest heaving, "not that I don't want to do this, but… do _you_ really want to do this? I mean, are you sure about this? I know we're going awfully fast, and I just worry that it'll be too much for you and you'll get scared and pull away, and I don't think I could handle that…"

"Whoa, there, baby. Take it easy." I put my hands on his shoulders to calm him. "Listen to me. I know it seems fast, but I'm ready for this. I want this with you. I'm not scared." I looked directly into his jade eyes so that he couldn't misunderstand me. "I promise that I'll tell you if we need to slow down at any point. But please don't worry that I'm gonna flake out on you and run away. I _won't_."

I didn't know how to explain this connection I felt with him after only one night. How could I make him understand? He'd made all my walls fall down with one glance from his smoldering green-and-copper eyes. There was no way I would give him up. How could I tell him all this without him thinking I was crazy?

Words failed me. I did the only thing I could think to do. I closed the space between us and kissed him with everything I had.

It only took a split-second for him to unfreeze and give me everything he had in return.

The sheet fluttered to the floor, forgotten. We melted down to our knees, locked in a fiery kiss fueled by sliding tongues, groping hands, and wordless groans.

Wanting to show him that I wasn't afraid, that I wasn't going to spook and bolt, I brought my hand down his chest, his belly, playing with the hair leading to his groin before slipping lower. He gasped into my mouth as my fingers wrapped around his shaft in a sure grip.

His hand flailed and grasped my wrist, halting my movements.

"Jazz," he whimpered, his breathing labored, "you don't have to…"

"Oh, but, Edward, I want to." My voice was husky but steady, I was pleased to note. I shook off his weak hold and continued to pump him slowly, feeling him grow harder in my hand. My thumb swiped over his head, feeling the sticky moisture gathering there and spreading it downward as I moved.

"Let me make you feel good, baby," I rasped in a low voice. He moaned and his head fell back, his eyes closing as he let himself get lost in the sensation. I stroked him like I would stroke myself, squeezing as I moved from base to tip, running my thumb just under the head. The noises he was making, little gasps and groans, along with his thrusting hips, spurred me on even as my own dick began throbbing and aching.

I nearly lost it when I felt his long fingers take hold of me and mirror my movements stroke for stroke.

"Oh, god, Edward," I croaked, my throat suddenly dry. My eyes met his before rolling back into my head in sheer bliss.

I lost my sense of time and space. All I knew was Edward, his shallow breathing and his moans, his pistoning lower body, his hand on my cock, and his length swelling in my own grip. I sped my hand, wanting to get him there, and he sped up, too. I clenched my jaw, needing to hold off, wanting to make him come first.

Just before I gave in and let go, he started to quiver.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god… _Jasper!_" As he cried out, his eyes shut tight and his brow furrowed. He was so incredible to watch. His cock pulsed in my hand and spurted onto his chest and abdomen. That's all it took for my body to send me over the edge, and I grunted as my orgasm wrenched its way out of me.

"Wow," Edward panted, his eyes still closed. I chuckled and pulled him to me for a light kiss.

"Yeah, 'wow' about covers it."

We were using my discarded towel to wipe each other off when both our cell phones chirped simultaneously. We looked at each other, puzzled. Edward got up to retrieve both phones and came back to sit on the floor next to me, tossing me my phone. We each looked at our screens, then back to each other.

"Emmett," we said at the same time. He grinned and I snorted as we opened our text messages.

_**Be there in 20. Brkfst on me. Em**_

I looked ruefully at Edward.

"What do you say we pretend not to be here when he comes?"

Just then, our phones chirped again.

_**Don't bother pretending not to be there. I'll just climb in thru the window. Em**_

"Damn Emmett," I grumbled. How did he do that?

"He's not kidding," Edward said, laughing. "He's come in here through the window before."

"Don't tell me. I don't want to know," I said, holding up my hand in protest. Edward stood and pulled me up after him.

"C'mon, sexy, let's grab a shower and get dressed before he gets here. If we're naked, he'll probably take pictures and post 'em on Facebook."

Considering the fact that we showered together – to save water, of course – we were in and out pretty quickly. Being wet and soapy with Edward left me wanting more, even though I knew we didn't have much time until Emmett showed up. Edward found clean boxers, a pair of jeans, and a maroon University of Chicago t-shirt for me. While he was in the closet choosing an outfit for himself, I decided to forgo the boxers and slid the jeans up my hips. Before I could get them all the way up, he emerged wearing jeans and holding a navy shirt. He stopped cold, staring at me.

"Uh, Jazz?"

"Yeah?" I said, smirking.

"You know that's gonna be torture for me all day, right? Knowing you don't have any underwear on while wearing _my_ jeans?"

I leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"That's the idea, Eddie baby." I flicked out my tongue and licked the shell of his ear.

"Fuck." He licked his lips, and his eyes became hooded. "You're evil, you know that?"

"Maybe," I replied, "but you like me that way."

"You bet your ass I do." His hand reached out to grab the ass in question, giving me a squeeze through the snug denim.

The doorbell interrupted our fun. I zipped up my fly and Edward threw on his shirt before we headed downstairs.

As I shoved my feet into my shoes, Edward opened the front door to reveal Emmett leaning casually against the door frame.

That's when it hit me. Emmett knew I was gay. He had encouraged Edward to talk to me. He'd obviously known where to find me this morning. I felt my face heat up with yet another annoying blush. What did I have to be embarrassed about? Nothing! Yet here I was, red as a baboon's ass. Talking to Em about all this after so many years of avoidance was going to be harder than I'd realized.

If Emmett noticed my crimson state, he didn't say anything about it.

"Let's go, losers. Coffee Shop, my treat." He grinned and loped down the walkway to his Jeep, which was parked on the street. Edward shrugged at me and followed, taking shotgun while I jumped in the back.

I took a deep breath. I knew I needed to say something, to apologize to Emmett. I looked up and saw him watching me in the rear-view mirror. He winked, and suddenly, I knew it would be okay. I winked back, and his grin widened.

"Soooo," he said, raising an eyebrow, "how was your evening?"

Edward snickered, and I whapped him lightly on the back of his bronze head. Emmett's expression softened.

"I want you guys to know that I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks, Em," I said softly, meeting his gaze. "You're a good friend, you know that?" He nodded to me, and he might have left it there, but I felt I needed to say more.

"Emmett, I need to apologize to you. I'm sorry I didn't trust you enough to tell you. You've always been there for me, and I treated you like shit. I'm really sorry, man."

Emmett was shaking his head before I'd even finished.

"Jazz, dude, please. I totally get it. And you've been there for me plenty. Like, remember freshman year when that senior, Stephan what-his-name, threatened to rearrange my face? Who talked him out of it? You, man. You don't owe me anything, believe me."

That was Emmett. For him, friendship was proven in deed, not in word. I supposed I could live with that.

Emmett parked in front of the Forks Coffee Shop, our go-to breakfast joint. The food was decent, the prices were reasonable, and the portions were enormous. Plus, they had a giant stuffed moose head on top of the banquette in the middle of the restaurant. It was so cheesy, it was actually cool. We grabbed a booth in the back, where we could observe the rest of the place while keeping our conversation relatively private. Emmett took one side, while I slid in next to Edward on the other.

We refused the menus and gave our orders right away. I got the hotcakes with sausage, Edward got a veggie-and-cheese omelet, and Emmett got chicken-fried steak and eggs. Once the waitress brought our coffee and OJ, we settled back in our seats. I inhaled and gathered my courage.

"So," I began, looking at Emmett, "when did you know?"

"Know what?"

I rolled my eyes. He was going to make me say it. Out loud.

"When did you know I was… gay?" I lowered my voice automatically. Edward squeezed my hand under the table.

"Shoot, son, when _didn't_ I know?" Emmett crossed his arms over his chest, an amused smile playing over his lips. "It wasn't any one thing. It was a lot of little things over the years. I just paid more attention than the other guys did."

"So, the others don't know?" This had been nagging at me subconsciously since last night, although I didn't think it was likely.

"Naw," Emmett confirmed. "They're clueless. Although I don't think it would be that big a deal if they did know."

I suppressed a shudder. I wasn't ready to deal with that yet.

"I don't know, Em," said Edward. "Those guys can really run off at the mouth. They're constantly calling each other 'fag' and 'homo.' Not exactly encouraging behavior."

"Yeah, well," Emmett tapped his lip with his thumbnail. "I think it's just a case of not enough exposure. I think if someone opened their eyes a bit, they'd come around pretty quick."

"No offense, Em," Edward replied, "but I don't know them well enough to trust them like that."

"Hell, I _do_ know them," I chimed in, "and _I_ don't trust them like that."

Emmett chuckled lightly.

"I'm not sayin' you guys gotta be the guinea pigs. I wouldn't blame you for keeping it under wraps until you get out of high school. I'll cover for you, you know that."

"Thanks, Em," Edward said. "Now, can we discuss the elephant in the room?"

I turned to look at him, having no idea what he meant. Emmett's eyes twinkled, however, and I knew that couldn't be good. For me, that is.

"Sure," he drawled, "if you mean the fact that your boyfriend ran all the way to New Orleans this past summer so he wouldn't be tempted to jump me."

_Oh, shit!_ What's redder than a baboon's ass? Whatever it was, my face had it beat.

"Jeez, McCarty! Way to be gentle, there." Edward bit back a smile as he rubbed my leg soothingly. I hid my face in my hands, feeling the heat from my cheeks radiating into my palms.

"Shit, sorry, Jazz." Emmett didn't sound sorry at all. "But it's completely understandable. I mean, look at me! What's not to love?"

I peeked at Edward through my fingers.

"You mean, you knew the whole time about my… feelings… for Emmett?" I squeaked.

"Yeah, baby," he said quietly, a soft smile lighting his face. "He told me. He wanted me to know what I was walking into. He also said he wanted you to be with someone who could make you happy."

I lowered my hands and gazed into his beautiful face. His eyes spoke volumes.

"I am, Edward. _You_ make me happy."

We stared at one another for an endless moment. The spell was broken by a throat being cleared across the table.

"Well, I guess my work here is done." Emmett's voice was smug, as was his expression. Edward laughed.

"Yeah, you're a regular matchmaker, Em." He laced his fingers through mine for a few moments, then released my hand as the waitress appeared with our food.

I dug into my hotcakes, not ready to look Emmett in the eye. I should've known he wouldn't let me get away with that.

"Jasper, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Water under the bridge, man. You've got Edward, now, and we're still friends. No harm done, right?"

I looked up, forcing myself to meet his eyes.

"Right, Em. I'm over it if you are."

He nodded.

"So, am I right?"

"About what?" I asked, glancing at Edward. He seemed just as puzzled as I was.

"Jazz _is_ your boyfriend, right Eddie?"

Edward turned to face me, his eyes questioning. The corners of my mouth turned up in answer. A million butterflies fluttered in my stomach as Edward turned back to Emmett.

"Yeah, Emmett, he's my boyfriend."

Emmett's smile almost extended past his face. He leaned over the table to clap us both on the shoulder.

"That's awesome, you guys! Now you've got each other, and I've got Rosalie." He sat back again with a flourish.

"She actually agreed to go out with you?" I asked incredulously. "How'd you pull that off?"

"She couldn't resist my natural charm and handsome physique. Hell, you can empathize with her, Jazz," he said with a guffaw.

"I'm never gonna live this down, am I?" I grumbled. Edward nudged me playfully, and I couldn't keep a smile from forming on my lips.

"Oh," Emmett continued, "and my sister found someone, too."

Edward and I exchanged a look.

"Yeah," I said, "she and Bella left the party pretty early last night."

"Oh, yeah?" Emmett chuckled. "I bet Alice talked poor Bella's ear off all night about this guy."

I gasped.

"What _guy_?" As the words left my mouth, my stomach sank. Edward grabbed my hand again, squeezing too tight.

"What's his name…? Gray, Gary… _Garrett_. Yeah, that's it. She met him at school in one of her classes. She's been going on nonstop about how smart and sweet and gorgeous he is."

"Fuck." I pushed my plate away and grabbed my wallet out of my back pocket. "Emmett, you gotta drive us," I said, throwing down a couple of twenties, hoping it was enough to cover breakfast.

"Whaddaya mean? I haven't finished eating yet."

"Sorry, man, but we gotta go. You gotta drive us to Bella's house. Right now."

* * *

**A/N continued:** As AngryBadgerGirl might say… DUN DUN DUN! Overflowing thanks to all of you who reviewed, favorited, alerted, and read the previous chapter. I may never be able to reply properly to all your brilliant comments, but please know that I read each and every one with a squeal and a full heart. Much love to you all.


	8. Three's Company

**A/N:** Hello, sweet friends. Yes, I'm alive. See you at the bottom.

**WARNING:** This piece of fanfiction is rated M for slash, graphic language, and adult situations. Minors and wusses, click away, please. Also, S. Meyer owns all _Twilight_-related material. Thanks for letting us detail your Ferrari, Mrs. Meyer.

* * *

**Chapter 8: Three's Company…**

_"Fuck." I pushed my plate away and grabbed my wallet out of my back pocket. "Emmett, you gotta drive us," I said, throwing down a couple of twenties, hoping it was enough to cover breakfast._

_"Whaddaya mean? I haven't finished eating yet."_

_"Sorry, man, but we gotta go. You gotta drive us to Bella's house. Right now."_

Emmett blinked. His jaw dropped slowly, then tightened, his mouth a grim line.

"I'm such an idiot," he muttered, standing and reaching into his back pocket. "Pick up your money, Jasper. I told you breakfast was on me." He tossed down some bills. One landed half on his plate, barely missing a glob of ketchup.

Before I could react, Edward swiped up my twenties and shoved them into my hand. I grabbed them unthinkingly, not really caring _who_ paid for our food, just wanting to get the hell out of there and over to Bella.

We scrambled out of the coffee shop and piled into Emmett's Jeep, with Edward ceding the front seat to me. Emmett pealed away from the curb and banged a U-turn right in the middle of the street. I stared blankly out the window, stomach churning.

Edward reached across the back of Emmett's seat and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Em, take it easy. We won't get there at all if we get stopped by a cop, or have an accident."

Emmett blew out a breath and eased off the accelerator.

"I can't believe I was so stupid. How could I not have realized…?"

"Em," I said, shaking off my shock. "Don't worry about it. It's not like you could've done anything about it, anyway."

"I could have at least warned her, before she got blindsided, ya know? I just thought she looked up to Alice. Why the hell didn't I put two and two together?"

I gave him a quizzical look.

"What were you supposed to put together?"

"Come on, Jazz. I knew _you_ were gay, and you and she were, like, joined at the hip for the past coupla years. It totally makes sense that you were each other's beards. Shit. It's so obvious now. How the fuck did I miss that?"

"At any rate," Edward interjected, "whether you knew or not, it isn't your fault if Bella got hurt. The only thing we can do is be there for her, let her know she's not alone." I glanced back over my seat and met his eyes, grateful to him for being the voice of reason.

"Yeah, you're right," Emmett conceded, sighing. "Shit, do you think Alice has any idea?"

"I don't know, man," I said. "She's your sister. You would know better than we would."

He considered for a moment.

"I don't think she does," he said slowly. "If she did, she would have been more careful not to give Bella mixed signals. I know she thinks of Bells as a good friend. She wouldn't want to hurt her or mislead her."

"I know, Em." I gave him a small, hopefully reassuring smile. "Alice is a sweetheart."

I thought about what Edward had said, that we needed to let Bella know she wasn't alone. I pulled out my phone.

_**Im coming, Bells. Hold on. B there asap.**_

Five minutes later, we pulled onto Bella's street. Emmett stopped the Jeep in front of her house. The chief's police cruiser was gone, but the Red Monster was parked in the driveway, meaning Bella was home by herself. If she hadn't gone for a walk. She hadn't responded to my text.

"Jasper," Edward said quietly, "maybe it would be better for just you to go in. The last thing we want is to overwhelm or embarrass her."

Emmett looked like he wanted to protest, but he nodded.

I turned in my seat to face Edward.

"I'm sorry about this, baby. I wish—"

"I know," he said, reaching up to touch my cheek. I leaned into his palm for a moment, soaking in his touch, his scent, before straightening up.

"Thanks, guys." I opened the car door, sliding one leg out. I turned back to look at them. "Hang out here until we're sure she's home. I don't want to be stranded." They nodded in agreement, and I slid off the seat and onto the sidewalk.

Before I made it halfway up the walk to her house, Bella's front door opened. She stood back from the entryway, holding herself in shadow. I vaguely registered the sound of the Jeep pulling away as I reached her and wrapped my arms around her small body.

"Jazz," she sobbed into my shirt as I kicked the door closed and lifted her up. I carried her up the stairs to her room and lay her gently on her rumpled bed. Climbing in next to her, I pulled her to me. She buried herself in my embrace, soft sobs making her shoulders tremble and pitch. I stroked her long, thick hair and murmured nonsensical soothing words in her ear.

She cried for a long time. I rocked her, every so often planting kisses on top of her head. Eventually, her shaking subsided and her breathing evened out. I gently pulled back, intending to let her sleep, but she tightened her grip.

"I'm awake," she said hoarsely. "Don't go."

"I'm not going anywhere, darlin'. I'm here."

She let out a shaky breath.

"I'm okay. Well, not really, but I will be."

"I know, Bells."

"It's not like I've even lost anything. We weren't together. She didn't even know how I felt."

I said nothing, just letting her talk it out.

"Anyway, she's obviously straight. I mean, she couldn't stop talking about this guy…" Her voice caught.

I raised her chin with my finger, looking into her tear-glazed eyes. The skin under them looked bruised, and I knew she hadn't slept.

"You hungry?" I asked. She shook her head, briefly closing her puffy eyes.

"Don't think I could keep anything down right now."

I shifted us into a more comfortable position, me on my back, her head on my chest, and resumed stroking her hair.

"Sleep, Bella. I won't leave, I promise."

After several minutes, Bella's hitching sobs ceased and her breathing evened out. I held her, letting my eyes unfocus as my mind wandered. The sunlight coming through her window rippled, fading and brightening with the passing clouds. The walls of her bedroom went from slate to sky-blue and back again as I watched.

Eventually, my bladder protested. Carefully, I eased out from under her and arranged her on the pillow. Exhausted, she didn't stir. I tiptoed to the bathroom in the hall and relieved myself. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I noticed two things: one, it had been more than two hours since I'd gotten here; and two, I had a text message.

_**Bella ok? Txt when u get a chance. –E**_

Warmth spread through my body at the idea that Edward was thinking about me. Well, about Bella and me, anyway. The time stamp said his message had come in about thirty minutes ago. I typed a reply.

_**She's sleeping now. Think she'll b ok. Where r u? –J**_

Twenty seconds later, my phone beeped.

_**Look outside. –E**_

I peeked through the lace curtains over the small bathroom window. There, parked across the street, was my car. My pulse leaped when I saw the long, lanky form leaning casually against the driver-side door. I stared dazedly at him for a few seconds, and then flew as quietly as I could down the stairs to open the front door.

He grinned when he saw me, pushing away from the car to lope up to the door. His smile dimmed somewhat as he gazed into my eyes.

"Is she really okay?"

My heart melted at his concern and painted my insides with warm liquid goo.

"She's hurt, but she's a realist. She didn't sleep last night, so she's totally exhausted." I put out my hand, grasping him gently by the shoulder. "How long have you been waiting outside?"

"Only a little while," he said, shrugging. "Maybe half an hour."

_Could he be more adorable?_

"Get in here, you."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded eagerly and tugged him inside the house.

"She'll be sleeping for a while. When she wakes up, I think she'll be happy you're here," I said, closing the door behind us. "I know I am."

"Well, you left your keys at my house, and I figured you'd need a ride home at some point. I wasn't sure if Bella would be up to driving anywhere, so…" He trailed off as I drew closer to him. "Jazz?"

"Hmm."

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Kissing you." And then I was.

"But… Bella…" he tried to say around my lips.

"Shh. She's sleeping."

"What about her dad?"

I huffed, pulling back half an inch.

"He goes fishing at five a.m. every Saturday morning. Spends all day on the boat and comes home in time for dinner. He won't be back for hours. Any more questions?"

He gave me a little grin, the heat rising in his eyes.

"Nope, I'm good." He closed the distance and took my mouth with his again.

"You are the sweetest," I mumbled against his lips, "most thoughtful, most amazing guy in the world." My hands wove through his soft hair as his trailed up and down my back.

"Nuh-uh, you are," he murmured back.

"You hardly even know Bella, and you're all worried about her." I sighed as his mouth moved down over my jaw.

"She's your best friend, which automatically makes her my friend, too."

We stopped talking for a little while after that. Our mouths were otherwise occupied.

Eventually, we slowed our movements, neither one of us really willing to go further while Bella was passed out upstairs. Instead, I led him to the small living room and sat on the worn but well-kept couch. Edward sat next to me, leaning his head on my shoulder.

"You know something, Jazz?"

"Hmm?"

"I feel like I've known you forever, but really, we hardly know anything about one another. We only just met last night."

"Wow," I said, my eyes widening. "You're right. I can't believe it's been less than a day."

"Tell me something."

"Sure," I replied.

"When's your birthday?"

I laughed.

"October sixteenth. When's yours?"

"June twentieth. Man, are you gonna be seventeen next month?" At my nod, he sighed.

"I'm always the youngest in my class. I just turned sixteen this summer."

Something clicked in my dazed brain.

"Ohhh. No wonder you didn't wanna drive my car last night. You didn't get your license in Chicago before you moved, right?"

"Yeah." Edward chuckled, his cheeks pink. "I got my permit as soon as we moved here, so I just have to wait four months until November to take the test."

"I'll be your chauffeur, baby." I pressed a tender kiss to the top of his head, nuzzling my nose in his hair. A mental image of my car sitting outside Bella's house flitted through my mind.

"Wait a minute," I began, confused. "How did you get my car here?"

"Emmett. Rosalie followed us here and took him home."

I thought about that for a moment.

"Does that mean Rose knows everything, too?"

"Uh, yeah, I think so." He sighed against my shoulder. "Does that bother you?"

It wasn't ideal. I still wasn't entirely comfortable with _Emmett_ knowing. Adding more people to the mix made me wary.

"Honestly, I don't know, Edward," I said. "I don't really know her all that well, and it feels weird for her to know something so private about us – you, me and Bella, I mean."

"Yeah, I understand. I don't think she'll say anything, though." His hand found mine in my lap, and he laced our fingers together. "She's pretty private herself. Plus, Emmett trusts her."

I snorted at that.

"Emmett just wants to get in her pants."

"True." He grinned at me. "But I think he has real feelings for her… like, as a person. The way he talked about her this summer, when the other guys weren't around, made me think it's more than just a hook-up for him."

I nodded, remembering the look in Emmett's eyes last night when Rose had shown up at Newton's.

"Jazz?"

"Hmm?"

"So, I kinda spilled my guts last night about wanting to talk to you and… all that. Did, uh…" He cleared his throat. "Did you notice me at all? Before the party last night, I mean?"

I pulled back in surprise, my wide-eyed gaze finding his hesitant one.

"Are you kidding? I was freaking out! I was so hot for you that I couldn't even look at you without worrying I was gonna—" I shut my mouth with a snap before I could embarrass myself any more.

Edward's jaw dropped. Then his lips drew up into a goofy grin.

"Really?"

He looked so happy, I couldn't deny him, humiliation be damned.

"I was a total mess. When I saw you in the auditorium the first day of school, it was like… I'd been struck by lightning or something."

"Me, too," he said. "When you locked eyes with me, I thought I was going crazy."

"Yeah, I told Bella about that. I made her help me figure out how to avoid you until I could talk to you without completely losing my shit."

"You were avoiding me?"

He sounded so sad. I took hold of his chin and gave him a peck on the lips.

"It was only because I didn't know how to be around you without giving myself away and outing myself to the whole school. All I wanted to do was touch you and hold you."

He leaned into me.

"I want you to touch me and hold me."

"Mmm." My chest rumbled with the husky sound.

"Jazz?"

"Yeah, baby?"

His voice dropped to a seductive whisper.

"Don't think I've forgotten that you're not wearing any underwear under _my_ jeans."

"Ungh." I groaned as his hand stroked my thigh, inching higher and higher. I forced myself to stand up and head toward the kitchen.

"Want something to drink?"

His smirk sent a little jolt to my groin, and I groaned again. I turned away and practically ran to the fridge. The wave of coolness that swept over me when I opened the door brought little relief. I grabbed a couple of water bottles and went back into the living room, deliberately sitting in the recliner instead of next to him on the couch.

"Here," I said, tossing him a bottle and grinning at the cute little pout that pushed his bottom lip outward.

We fell easily and naturally into conversation. He told me about his life in Chicago, the few friends he'd left behind, and the tension in his family caused by his dad's long work hours. He talked about his friend Liam, the first person he'd come out to when he was fourteen, and the only boy he'd ever kissed and fooled around with. I was relieved that he'd only been with one other person – it made me feel less awkward about my lack of prior experience.

I shared with him the details of my summer in New Orleans, and my now-faded attraction to Emmett. I told him about Lauren Mallory going down on me, and about how Bella and I became best friends. I even talked about my Mama and Daddy, and my fear that my relationship with them was becoming more and more superficial the longer I hid who I truly was.

I'd never felt a connection with anyone like I felt with Edward. Even Bella and I had taken some time to open up to one another. With Edward, it was effortless. My trust in him was automatic, instinctive. From the look in his eyes, from the way he gravitated toward me and couldn't seem to stop touching me, I knew he felt it, too.

Our conversation was rudely interrupted by my growling stomach. Edward chuckled, then grimaced as his own belly gave an answering grumble. I stretched my limbs and glanced at my phone.

"Holy shit," I said, blinking. "It's almost three in the afternoon. No wonder we're starving."

"Hmm, I definitely could eat," Edward said. "You want to order in? Bella's been out a long time. Bet she'll be hungry soon, too."

"That sounds great, babe. What do you feel like? Pizza okay?"

Edward stepped outside to call in the pizza order, not wanting wake the Sleeping Beauty upstairs. I tiptoed up to her room to check on her. As I reached for the doorknob, the door opened, revealing a sleepy-eyed but rested-looking Bella.

"Hey, darlin'. I was just coming to check on you."

She blinked up at me with a small smile.

"I'm okay. Better than when you first got here, anyway. Jeez, how long was I out?"

"Well," I said, "I got here around eleven, you fell asleep around noon, and it's about three now. You look a lot better, not so pale. You hungry?"

"Could eat a horse," she said, her smile widening.

"Well, I don't think they use horse on the meat-lover's pizza, so you'll have to settle for sausage and pepperoni."

"Dork."

"You love me and my dorky jokes. Admit it."

Her grin turned mischievous.

"I'll admit _that_ when _you_ admit you spent the night with Edward Cullen."

I gaped like a fish.

"What? I mean, how did you—"

"Elementary, my dear Jasper. You don't own a University of Chicago shirt. Edward's from Chicago. Ergo…"

I stared at her, blinking furiously.

"You scare me sometimes," I said when my mouth started accepting signals from my brain again.

"So it's true? You guys really got together last night? Tell me everything."

My cheeks heated.

"I would, but, uh… he's downstairs ordering pizza for us."

It was Bella's turn to blink. Before she could open her mouth, I continued.

"He's worried about you, too, Bells. We went to breakfast with Emmett, and that's when we found out about Alice. I made Em drive us here, and they left 'cause they didn't want to overwhelm you. But then they brought my car over and Edward stayed to keep me company while you were sleeping—"

"It's okay, Jasper." She put her hand on my arm, calming my rant. "If you trust him, I trust him."

I breathed out a sigh.

"I really, really do, Bells. He's amazing. He said that, since you're my best friend, that makes you his friend, too."

Bella studied my face, her eyes dancing back and forth between mine. After a few seconds, she nodded.

"You're happy, Jazz. That's all that matters. What's important to you is important to me. I can tell he's important to you."

"He really is," I sighed. "We just… fit. You know?"

"Jazzy, I'm so happy for you." She wrapped her arms around my waist, pressing her cheek into my chest.

"I'm happy, too. But I'm sad that you're hurt, darlin'."

She pulled back a smidgen to look up at me, a telltale wet sheen in her eyes.

"It's just not my time yet. It'll happen for me, too, someday. I have faith in that."

I kissed the top of her head, and she excused herself to freshen up. I managed to remake her rumpled bed before she emerged from the bathroom two minutes later, and together we walked downstairs.

As we reached the foot of the staircase, Edward came around the corner from the living room.

"Pizza should be here in twenty…" He trailed off as he saw Bella. She gave him a shy smile, and he returned it.

"Hi, Bella. I hope you don't mind my being here."

"Hi, Edward. Not at all. You're important to Jazz, so you're important to me, too."

His smile dampened a bit.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I wish…"

"I know." She stepped closer to him. "Can I… can I give you a hug?"

His eyes flicked to me in surprise for an instant before he opened his arms to her. She stepped into them tentatively, hugging his waist like she'd hugged mine upstairs. He rubbed his hands soothingly over her back.

"Thank you for making Jasper so happy," she whispered into his chest.

His gaze met mine over her head, and his megawatt grin could have powered Seattle.

"You've got it backwards, sweetie," he said. "It's Jasper who makes _me_ happy."

At that, I couldn't resist stepping in behind Bella and wrapping myself around both of them.

Two different pieces of my heart – the one Bella held, and the one that I'd given to Edward – melted together as the three of us embraced. I felt the circle of my life expanding, the scattered bits of me coming together to begin forming one whole Jasper. Now having two people in my life whom I trusted completely with my true self… the power of that hadn't merely doubled, it had exponentially increased. It filled me near to bursting.

We ended up sitting on the floor in a close circle, Bella teasing us about our "sexcapades," as she put it, and Edward and I laughing and blushing. When the doorbell rang, I jumped up and grabbed my wallet from my back pocket to pay for the food. I sprang to the door and swung it open, only to be struck dumb.

"Someone here order a pizza?" said Emmett, balancing a stack of steaming boxes in one hand and gripping Rosalie's hand in the other.

* * *

**A/N continued:** Yes, it's been a very long time since I last updated. I've been dealing with some life-changing (though, thankfully, not life-threatening) medical issues for the past few months, which put the kibosh on any creative juices I might have had brewing. While the issues are on-going, I promised before to finish this story, no matter how long it takes, and I stand by that promise. If you're still reading (and from the reviews and alert messages that keep coming in, it seems you are), I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

To the wonderful person or persons who nominated this little fic for The Slash Awards (Best Wank), I'm extremely grateful you thought enough of the story to put it forward as a candidate. Jasper (being the wanker in question) is somewhat mortified, but I'm quite giddy. Voting for the contest ends on September 24th, and some outstanding fics have been nominated in all categories. Please visit theslashawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com to vote for your favorites and show these authors your love.

One more thing of note: as you are no doubt aware, the Twilight fandom has a fantastic history of coming together for worthy charitable causes. The most recent of these is Fandom for Preemies. Visit fandomforpreemies(dot)blogspot(dot)com to learn more about this event and how you can participate, either as a contributing author or as a financial donor.


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